TEXT RAGE – bit poetry

Didn’t wait, did I?
Wouldn’ta mattered
Cause it don’t
Didn’t wait, did I?
It wouldn’tve mattered anyway
Cause it don’t, really.

Lookin for Mr. Goodwrench
It’s the Glimpse!
Mama, mama!
Children, stop your nursing!
It’s the Glimpse!
Lookin for Mr. Goodwrench
Sick of singing about girls
Cause I can’t find any
Lookin for Mrs. Goodwrench
Glimpse!
I’m sick of singing about trucks
Cause I can’t drive any
I’m sick of singing about trucks
Cause I can’t fyeng any
I’m sick of singing about me
Cause you won’t find any
Glimpse!
That look you gave me
Fleeting
You must be lookin for Mr. Goodwrench.

Rob Grill
Sweat in the folds under my breasts
You crossed my mind a thousand times today
Quality drugs?
Rob Grill
Mat said that
This coming decade
What’s on your mind, Rob Grill?
The revolution is right where we want it
Out of our control
Sweat in the folds under my breasts
Nabob gotcha shredmaestro
DJ Kaili Menogue
Pogue going rogue
Roguer Freguson vs Rob Grill.

Oh my English springer spaniel
Doggystyle Staffordshire lamp
Rockabilly rayon
Shadowplaid shy
Rainy Friday weekend is a good time to fly
Strawberry buttermilk biscuit
You need a love butter
Just can’t risk it
Oh my English springer spaniel
Doggystyle Staffordshire lamp
Butterdish descant en ser des ce kanter
You know you need
De love biscuit
Butterdish smear
Rockabilly rayon
Shadowplaid shy
I yam in love with Christopher Thai

Census 2010
Wait a minute, U ain’t heard nothing yet
Come full of pep!
No admittance here [sic]
Extend thy grasp
A little travelling music
Census 2010
Seeking solutions with Suzanne, oh
I’ve heard that tearstained monologue you do there
By the door before you go
Packs a considerable wallop
How did I not know that?
Wait a minute, U still ain’t heard nothing yet
Progress, extend thy grasp
Census 2010

Twinge
Tweenge twoange
Go to your room
Twinge
Tweenge twoange
Go to your room

Hep me out heah Billy
Hep me out heah
Roger hep me out heah
Pete hep me out heah
Cud hep me out heah
Joe hep me out heah
Myron hep me out heah
Squatty hep me out heah
Vic hep me out heah.

Almaden Mountain Chablis
Gallo Merlot Cabernet Savignon
Do you accept Bank Americard?
No?
Dad, I need that 20.

I am looking for a guy or a girl
To help me fix my acoustic guitar
By putting a jack in the bottom of the strap peg
So I can plug in my jack cord
Directly into the bottom
Anus of my guitar
Can’t seem to take care of that
I need a guy or a girl
To get that done
And bring it back
And I can pay them
Five figures in a reward settlement
Y’see, what I been usin’ over the years
Old school
One of them acoustic pick-ups
That you hafta insert into the round hole
And there’s this awkward cord that comes out
Not long enough
Gets in the way of the strumming hand
Maybe someday I’ll catch up to the times
Check, please!

Privacy’s comin
Better hang up my blanket
Privacy’s comin
Better hang up my blanket
Privacy’s comin
Better hang up my blanket
Privacy’s comin
Better hang up my blanket

Peace
Pipe

Hot and juicy teen pussy

Oh, I don’t know, I don’t know
It’s about taking it down a notch
Naw, that ain’t right at all
It’s about taking it down a notch
Nawp, wrong again
It’s about taking it down a notch
How could you even know?
It’s about taking it down a notch
That’s what I just said
Well, take it down a notch
I’ll take it down a notch.

The Reverend Victor Lovera once wrote:
“Thou art god.”
Monotheism
Pah.

Next up for auction:
A box of Bonine
Meclasine hydrochloride
It’s an anti-emetic
8 tablets, it’s chewable once-a-day protection
It prevents motion sickness
It works 4 times longer
Causes less drowsiness
Bonine, people
Works up to 4 times longer and
Causes less drowsiness
Than original Dramamine
And this package is raspberry flavored
Do I have a first bid?
Bonine

Directory assistance, may I help you?
Yes?
What’s the name?
Frank?
What’s that last name again?
Balesteri, Frank Balesteri?
E?
Do you have an address?
No address
Many addresses
I don’t have time, sir!
I will luck him up
Bales-
E?
With an i?
Balesteri?
Frank Bales- oh!
Sir, Frank Balesteri’s dead.

Flomax, part 2
I go to bed at 10 and 11
I have to get up at 2
To relieve my bladder
Excruciating pain
I go back to bed
I gotta get back up around 5
To relieve my bladder
It’s over 50 prostate enlargement
Somebody explain
Flomax
Splain
I come back and go to bed
When I wake up around 7
I have to go relieve my bladder
What shall I do?

What’s that?
You have sound for emphasis
You are emphatic
Turn it up
I can’t hear it
What’s that, you say?
You have sound for emphasis
You turn the volume up
You are emphatic
What’s that, you say?
I can’t hear it
Turn it up!

650 WSM,  R. Stevie Moore
And we just heard the new remaster
From the original Breetles album called
“Squares in Pairs”
I think that came from 2000 1000 9
And going backwards we heard
Lysie Pay for the Check
She’s Buying
Not the Only Girl
Jolene
Revenge part 2 (I like that one)
And Hang On To Everything
We’ll be right back /
And we’re back now
WBLS
Celebrating the new remaster of
“Squares in Pairs”
Sort of an unknown classic by
The Breetles
From the year 1006
And here comes Side 2
Tracks are called:
Their Day
Now, that’s t-h-e-i-r day
Possessive ‘their’?
Their day, they owned that day
And, sorry to get distracted
Have you noticed with people having problems online
With the 3 theres!
T-H-E-R-E
T-H-E-I-R possessive
And even worse is the contractual
T-H-E-Y-apostrophe-R E
Which is They Are, R
Then came:
I’m Not Crazy
Squares and Pairs Theme
TV Station
Why Can’t I Feel What I Say?
Supervisor Blues
Belgian Holiday
And we ended the set,
Wait, we haven’t started!
This is the upcoming set, coming up soon
We’ll be right back. /
And welcome back
This is WABC Good Guys
And I’m RSTVMO
And we just heard the complete Breetles remaster
For his 2nd album from 1006, called
“Squares In Pairs”
Hope you enjoyed it
Weather
We got the weather?
It’s been pretty amazing
Here’s the intense weather.

Tiger Wood Not
Things are slow all over
Dear Prudential
LaBrea Tarboots
Tiger Wood Not

Uh uh uh uh uh
Shiftless
Uh uh uh uh uh
I got so much class I ain’t even used yet
Uh uh uh uh uh
Vietti chili
Uh uh uh uh uh
Mad chill
Uh uh uh uh uh
Claptrap
Uh uh uh uh uh
GSTPO
Uh uh uh uh uh
Florsheim
Uh uh uh uh uh
Replace your divots
Uh uh uh uh uh
Uh uh uh
Coo Coo Marlin
I declare
Uh uh uh uh uh
Don’t lose your head
To gain a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it!
Uh uh uh uh uh
Perpendicular footpaths
Uh uh uh uh uh

Neely Auditorium
Uh uh uh uh uh
Set a standard, Stevie
Dime store Lps
Vegeterrible

Hey Will.i.am
My castile of quite
Y’all ain’t nuh’in
And I was right!
My castile of quite
Y’all ain’t nuh’in
And I was white!

Oh ok
Get the kids all out of the room by now
I got some fuckin’ shit to bring on you here
Get the kids out of here
I got some shit, I got some shit I gotta fuckin’
Lay on you people
Get the kids out
Alright, I’ll wait

Every time you open your mouth
I am privileged to hear it
Bravo! Encore!
Hey Sharifa
Every time you open your mouth
I am within earshot
Bullshit! Bravo! Encore!
Hey lady
Every time you enter my building
Holding your cellphone
I am privileged to hear it
Bravo! Encore!

Hey twinge
Little Miss Tweenge twoange
Come up to my room
Hey lady twinge
Princess twinge twoange
Follow me
Come up to my room

I’m never going to touch another
Guitar again
Woman again
Drink again
Drug again
Computer again
Cellphone again
Obscenity again
Law again
Sharpie again
Forklift again
1040 again.
Stimulating talk
Fine particulates
Hideous lump sum annuity
Telebrands Oscar Brand
I was once a Cheshire cat
And I never gave way to you.

Go to your room, my sons
Go to your room, Beaver
Go to your room, Wally
Go to your room, without supper.

Bit poetra
Jill Horny
What’s for brekkie?
Put 5-wk old baby in the oven
375, baked on premises
Reffic refuses to referee
I am writing as fast as I can think
I am writing as fast as my fingers will allow
Medium slow, sluggish Sluggo
Nancy was Copas’ babe
Indigent
The Counts of Nowhere at
Saunder’s Ferry boat dock, meet
The Bitter Sparrow at Hullabaloo
Bell Grimes Lane sucks Dickerson Road
Spits it out, and gags
Tastes like paint
Thinner? And U call this dinner?
I’ll take U to court, Jester
Anyone for tennis-on?
Close yet so far
MP3, you won’t listen to me
CDR, you still believe in me
I wasn’t ready, aren’t you?
Unlike you, I can do everything
No visionary fulfillment
Satch and Slip Mahoney
Baloney pony express
Sasha Frere-Jones-E Xray
Anger manager
You’ll know when you see it
And you call this dinner?
My DeSoto has been recalled
For malfunctioning clutch
Clutch
Too much Crutchfield, Robin Meade
Headline nuke
And this was your health minute.

Aaaauuugggh!
What’s the matter?
Well, I’m having a panic attack
I have an anxiety disorder
So, don’t panic. Relax!
Oh, it’s that easy, is it?
What’s your secret?
She’s sound asleep.

Well, I think it’s, uh,
A B C, D E F G
H I J K
L M N O P
Q R S T U V
W X Y & Z
I Y
Now I do my numbers
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 and on up
5 9
9 5 Y I reckon

Hey how do I look?
I just took a shower
Notice any change?
It’s a lot better, isn’t it?
Come here, look
You like it?
I just took a shower.

Saint Patrick Mathe
The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure
Chris Prentiss
Corned beef and cabbage?
Green Patrick
The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure
Green Chris Prentiss
Corned beef and cabbage?
The Green Alcoholism and Addiction Cure
Chris Green Prentiss
Green corned beef and cabbage?
Bono
Roo

Be prepared
What was that?
Remember?
Boy Scouts motto?
Be prepared
Bit poetry
Jill’s warning
What’s for brekkie?
Put 5-wk old baby in the oven
375, baked on premises
Home alone shark
Some reasoning
Is that your phone?
You lost me, how does it feel?
It doesn’t?
Needs to be in on
Teterboro calling
Bit poetry
And that’s our dinner?
This is The Voice
Living in 20-10 will be our subject for this evening
20-10? I don’t think so, not yet
Two thousand ten
But, like 19 . . in the past
Eventually we’ll drop the “thousand” word
And revert to “twenty”
I hope that answers your question
Pump up the jam
Pump it up
While the body’s thumpin’
Get your booty on the floor tonight
Make my day
Bit poetry.

This is the Voice
I’m inside of my own mouth room
Voiceroom
Living in 2010 will be our subject for this evening
And category A
What?
You didn’t like the way I said that
Take 2
Keep up good work
Keep up good work
Keep up good work
Keep up good work
Keep up good work
Keep up good work
Keep up good work
Bit poetry.

Did I tell you about this guy?
I saw this guy
I told ya?
Naw, I didn’t tell ya yet
Got a second?
There’s this guy outside
I was looking at him through the window
He’s out over on the sidewalk near the hedge
And I guess he worked for the company that has the building
Or maybe the government
Who knows, the town?
He was doing some yardwork over by the hedge
And I noticed he was trying to clean up some leaves
That had fallen from the tree above
That old tree
You know that big old tree?
He was cleaning up the leaves
Right by the hedge
He started cuttin’ up the leaves
One at a time
Cuttin’ up a leaf
With a marshmallow
Cuttin’ leaves with marshmallows
I don’t know how he does it
I don’t think he was having much luck
It was across the street
I can’t see that far
I got my binoculars
He wasn’t cuttin’ any leaves at all!
How can you cut
You can’t cut a leaf with a marshmallow
Our tax dollars at work, I guess
OK, I’ll get back to ya
Hold on, goodnight.

Please get just two rolls every two days
Keeps them from spoiling
Getting those little green dots
Are those green dots harmful?
I pick ‘em out
And use the bread
Not very good
But I’m scared of those green dots

Rs Gratia Rtis
Rs gratia rtis
Hurricane Cynthia
Hurricane Julian
Rs Gratia Rtis
Martin Lewis
Rs Gratia Rtis
Hurricane Yoko
Hurricane Shine
Get 2 rolls every 2 days
Talking as music
As part of a heart healthy diet
The soluble fiber in me
Can help lower your cholesterol
As part of a heart healthy diet
The soluble fiber in me
Can help lower your cholesterol
As part of a heart healthy diet
The soluble fiber in me
Can help lower your cholesterol
UPS truck’s here.

BRB
We’ll be right back
B right back
When we come back
A disclaimer
Welcome back
Yeah I know, I’m not supposed to be singing
Supposed to just keep this as talking
But I’m just feeling so nice and good today
It’s beautiful outside
I just can’t resist
Love is a many splendored thing.

Someone will object
And that’s how you know
It’s a good idea.

I miss krys
The genuine article
Which krys?

Omg
The wicked witch of the west
The wicked witch of the west
The wicked witch of the west
The wicked witch of the east
The wicked witch of the east
The wicked witch of the weast
The wicked witch of the weast
Are you timing me?
The wicked witch of the north
The wicked witch of the north
The wicked witch of the south
The wicked witch of the south
The wicked witch of the west
Which krys?

I want to record me reading text from the computer
But that means I got to carry the microphone
To the other part of  the room
It’s too much trouble
I need to sometimes print out
What’s on the computer
So I can bring the piece of paper
Over to the other side of the room
Where the microphone is
When will I get it together?
Rs gratia Rtis

Wellmont Zappa
Volz had extra ticket
Son couldn’t go
January 16th 8pm
Montclair
I leave at 6:15
Dinner with Chris and Nancy Grace
Have fun at home
Save that burger and salad, Dweezil!

Son of obituary
Twinge tweenge twoange
Go to my tomb
Twinge tweenge twoange
Insertion your womb
Twinge tweenge twoange
Doom and gloom
Twinge tweenge twoange
To whom (it may concern)
Twinge tweenge twoange
Danger looms
Twinge tweenge twoange
Billy Mumi
Twinge help me out tweezers
Enroll at Hume-Fogg
Guh
Guh
Guh

Guh
Guh
Guh

You’re not listening to
Michael Shelleyan Orphan
Frank Balesteri had a rap group
From Montclair/East Orange
Circa 1992-3
Called The Orfinz
Featuring the leaderman Git Loose (GL)
FYI

Ah, we’re back, it’s midnight
WMFU motherfucker
My name’s Uncle Eeef
And we just heard a long set
Errorism
Beautiful Lullaby
Going backwards here
Edit Presley
Closing Credits
Those Mathematicians X 2
Blue Snowball
Walk Softly darlin’
I’m Comin’
Ooh Lady
John Mayer and Jessica Simpson
Where’s My Whiskey?
And we started out the set a long time ago
With It’s Not True
It isn’t
Motherfucker

Seeking Solutions With Suzanne
Welcome
This is the time of year
When I so enjoy going outside
And seeing all the little children with very little clothes on
I take my camera and take pictures of them
And bring them back
Life is wonderful
And youth is even better than that
I remember back in Des Moines
When we used to go out on the first day of  spring
To the community company pool
And everybody was half naked
I couldn’t control myself
It’s Adam and Eve
So let’s all get together outdoors
And look at the little children
Get up close
And bring your camera.

Well, imagine that
Where we going with this here?
Trying to get comfortable
Relax
It ain’t gonna happen
I need a massage
The past twenty years
And one wouldn’t do it
I need about a hundred of ‘em
Then check back for results
My life has come to a halt.

A bad habit tendency to work on:
Stevie, don’t attack
Just ignore.

I’ve said it all before
No one thought it was that important
So I’ve stopped, for good.
Now suddenly, it was important?

Everybody’s doin’ it, doin’ it, doin’ it
Pickin’ their nose and chewin’ it, chewin’ it
Some think it’s candy, but it’s not
It’s really cold boogers and hot snot.

Yeah, this is the big bad blogster
Headline newsanchor ladybabes
Got this disturbing new trend
Upturned Linguistics?
They’re reading sentences
Which end as if in questions?
Slightly condescending?
As if they’re intending to clarify?
That which they assume that
You don’t understand?
Like you’ve not been paying attention?
To them stating the obvious?
The adult teacher instructing
Us young students?
Pupils?
It’s kind of hard to describe it to you
Without you hearing it
So, my plan is to
Hafta tape it
Examples of proof
Susan Hendricks and Christy Paul
And some of the other ones who are
Just as good as runway models
In my book?

Her behind is mine
I got it real cheap: I found it.
Her behind is mine
You came in here with teeth,
Do you wanna leave with teeth?
Ye shall know the truth and
The truth shall make you free.
Her behind is mine
That can be arranged
I got it real cheap: I found it.
Her behind is mine
I got it real cheap. I found it.
Would you call me a cab? You’re a cab!

I gave at the office
Why chance it?
Let me finish!
Liverwurst
J Mascis on Jay Leno
J-Lo for Jay Reatard
Why chance it?
Let me finish!
Gift ban
Asbestos
The one who loses the least money is a big winner
I have heard OF them but not their music
I gave at the office
Why chance it?
You want me to do something else for you
As if I don’t (already) do enough?
Pole strap
LLP – limited liability partnership
I gave at the office
Why chance it?
Let me finish!
My next album will be quite the stunner
(just like my last ten were)
Let me finish!
Hat city intuitive
I gave at the office
Neither Chilton nor Hitchcock
Why chance it?
Let me finish!

Text rage
Solution?
Hand sanitizer
Text rage
Solution?
Hand sanitizer
Bit poetry
Solution?
Mouth sanitizer
Verify
Text rage
Solution?
Hand sanitizer
Text rage
Solution?
Get rid of those typewriters,
Why doncha say!
The little midget desks
You carry around in your mouth
And put ‘em in your ear
Shocking
Shocking
Walkie talkie
I’ll never do it!

I need to gargle
Do a search on gargle
See what kinda keywords
I could come up with
To find the best results

I’m putting all my eggs in one basket
Pick yourself up, I’ll be hard to handle
I gave at the office
Unable to come to terms with you
I’m putting all my eggs in one basket
Gradually lost its luster
This just ain’t a good day for leaving
Debonaire fricke and frack
Unable to come to terms with me
Stubborn, kind, Othello
Don’t move, if you know what’s good for you
The advancement of colored pens
Ctrl Alt Delete
Rib rub
Unable to come to terms with you
I’m open for anything.

Thumbs
I’m gonna cut off all your thumbs, world
Then you wouldn’t be able to communicate
Thumbs
You don’t see me sittin’ around with my thumbs
Come over here, honey
Look, thumbs!
My left thumb and my right thumb
Pickin’ away like an animal on the prairie
I’m gonna chop off all their thumbs
Thumbs

Is this a comedy record?
File under humor
With Rudy Ray Moore
In front of or behind
Heh heh heh heh heh

Morlocks
The house is not in order
Secure horizons
Closet cosmosis
The house is not in order
Morlocks 
Transition device
Assumes good faith
Outmoded sensibilities
Courtroom bathroom leak
Morlocks
The house is not in order
Due process, we digress
Hurry, see if you qualify
Verify 
Posthumorous comptroller
Acidic ridicule
The house is not in order
It’s pretty clear that you have no idea
What you are talking about
I couldn’t write a plain song if I tried
When I have tried, it comes out as satire or parody or satire
The house is not in order
Dictatorial memorial
But bet I didn’t, but bet, but bet
Bet your life, Bett
My father used to call my mother Bett
I feel a cerebral hemorrhage coming on fast
With fries
Jealous, zealous, tell us, fellas
Yella submarine sandwich from Subway
The house is not in order
The embodiment of progressive ideals
This is the greatest day of my life
So far
Morlocks 
Blimpie base
Don’t come back now, y’hear?

The race is on
And here comes pride up the back stretch
Look out, coming by the wayside
Liquid paper
Nesmith white-out
Racist trend
Your racist friend
Racist concept
Racist conception
Dark goes invisible
It’s erased
When the white son rises
Comes up over the horizon
Up your block
Day beats night every time
Well, the race is on
And here comes love at the outside
Liquid paper
Nesmith white-out
Racist trend
Dark goes invisible
When the white sun rises
Comes up over that horizon
Up your block
Day eats the night every time.

You can call me Ray
You can call me Blu-ray
But ya don’t hafta call me
Johnny Ray, Billy Ray, or Diane Renay renal
More is overrated
Less is better
More is underrated
Less is unrelated
To Mary Ford
Tater platters
My staff briefed me on it
You may not right mouseclick this page
But nevertheless
I’m examining the logistics of your
Buddy Lee Attractions parallel hamlet
Glib contempt
Cut the dailies
I pout to get my way
Get your coat
I’ll get my coat
Ursula Andress undress for me
Send your email address to me
But you don’t hafta call me Quincy Jones
Heads out tails out
Google’s doodle dandy
Don’t leave home without it
Spectre.

Text rage
Sexed up underage, child
Can’t find no over age, like me
Text rage
To myself with my thumbs
Overage in the cash register
Musta gave back too little change back
Text rage
Sexed up over aged, like fine wine
Still got some spunk left
Pour me a glass
Consume my seed
Secede from the union
Text rage
Touch you
Masterpiece flesh
Tom Tresh
Stop them!
It’s a good thing I filmed her younger
That girl’s gone now
But I kept her purty body in formaldehyde
On DVD
Text rage?

Spin man!
Stevie Joe McAlister, Tallahachie bridgework
Live to play live
Been there done that
Live to play live
I don’t think so
It killed me
Now don’t be fooled
I ain’t makin all this stuff up as I go along
In every room, I got a a little blank sheet of paper
And a writin’ pen
And whatever I think up, I jot down
Spin man!
Keith Richards fingers
Swollen bone joints arthritis points
Hurts bad, pretty sad
Stiff and numb
Dead cartilage in my thumb
Keith and Richard’s finger paints
Spin man!

Wordplay, never cared for it
Can’t even finish a sentence
Retirement requirement
I myself put a small stuffed animal
In the rear window of my car
Lil Cutie on board
Wordplay, never cared for it
Susan Boyle crisis
It’s the mileage that’s slowing me down
Hey, a guy has to eat
Johnnie and Jack, Jim and Jesse
Floods across the nation
Find the fatal flaw
Wordplay, never cared for it
It’s the mileage that’s slowing me down
Harry Merry and the Must
Mickie Most and the Gear
Who’s you? Where you were?
Wordplay, never cared for it
Never cared for it.

Move out!
Y’all move out!
Move out!
Y’all move out!
Move out!
Y’all Move out!
Hello!
Hi, cat!
What about it?
What?

Pearly gates
Obit poetry
BD
Bondage & discipline
Born and died
Pearly gates
Obit poetry
Johnny maestro dead
Everybody’s just standing in line
Standing in line
To die
Sad?? Why y’all get sad?
Lifespan means nothin’
They’re just Next in Line
Pearly gates
Obit poetry
R U connected in their daily lives?
Nawwww – they old
Be glad
Good riddance.

Channel 5 Fox News
Good Day New York
New york fort
Carolyn Gussoff pissed off
Apparent homicide
A lady giving birth
Babies having babies having babies
Some thug with gun
Broke in and shot her head
A robbery gone bad
And Carolyn Gussoff is pissed off
Monopoly money
Cause of death: breath
Can you smell the oral stench?
Dental records _ and tapes
Monotonous, honey
And that makes Carolyn Gussoff pissed off
Apparent homicide.

Just 1 note
Is that all you can sing?
Just 1 note
Is that all he can sing?
Hey you guys, no music, remember?


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