T E X T . R A G E

Ė bit poetry by r. stevie moore
all work strictly copyright 2010
TEXT RAGE Ė bit poetry Didnít wait, did I? Wouldníta mattered Cause it donít Didnít wait, did I? It wouldnítve mattered anyway Cause it donít, really. Lookin for Mr. Goodwrench Itís the Glimpse! Mama, mama! Children, stop your nursing! Itís the Glimpse! Lookin for Mr. Goodwrench Sick of singing about girls Cause I canít find any Lookin for Mrs. Goodwrench Glimpse! Iím sick of singing about trucks Cause I canít drive any Iím sick of singing about trucks Cause I canít fyeng any Iím sick of singing about me Cause you wonít find any Glimpse! That look you gave me Fleeting You must be lookin for Mr. Goodwrench. Rob Grill Sweat in the folds under my breasts You crossed my mind a thousand times today Quality drugs? Rob Grill Mat said that This coming decade Whatís on your mind, Rob Grill? The revolution is right where we want it Out of our control Sweat in the folds under my breasts Nabob gotcha shredmaestro DJ Kaili Menogue Pogue going rogue Roguer Freguson vs Rob Grill. Oh my English springer spaniel Doggystyle Staffordshire lamp Rockabilly rayon Shadowplaid shy Rainy Friday weekend is a good time to fly Strawberry buttermilk biscuit You need a love butter Just canít risk it Oh my English springer spaniel Doggystyle Staffordshire lamp Butterdish descant en ser des ce kanter You know you need De love biscuit Butterdish smear Rockabilly rayon Shadowplaid shy I yam in love with Christopher Thai Census 2010 Wait a minute, U ainít heard nothing yet Come full of pep! No admittance here [sic] Extend thy grasp A little travelling music Census 2010 Seeking solutions with Suzanne, oh Iíve heard that tearstained monologue you do there By the door before you go Packs a considerable wallop How did I not know that? Wait a minute, U still ainít heard nothing yet Progress, extend thy grasp Census 2010 Twinge Tweenge twoange Go to your room Twinge Tweenge twoange Go to your room Hep me out heah Billy Hep me out heah Roger hep me out heah Pete hep me out heah Cud hep me out heah Joe hep me out heah Myron hep me out heah Squatty hep me out heah Vic hep me out heah. Almaden Mountain Chablis Gallo Merlot Cabernet Savignon Do you accept Bank Americard? No? Dad, I need that 20. I am looking for a guy or a girl To help me fix my acoustic guitar By putting a jack in the bottom of the strap peg So I can plug in my jack cord Directly into the bottom Anus of my guitar Canít seem to take care of that I need a guy or a girl To get that done And bring it back And I can pay them Five figures in a reward settlement Yísee, what I been usiní over the years Old school One of them acoustic pick-ups That you hafta insert into the round hole And thereís this awkward cord that comes out Not long enough Gets in the way of the strumming hand Maybe someday Iíll catch up to the times Check, please! Privacyís comin Better hang up my blanket Privacyís comin Better hang up my blanket Privacyís comin Better hang up my blanket Privacyís comin Better hang up my blanket Peace Pipe Hot and juicy teen pussy Oh, I donít know, I donít know Itís about taking it down a notch Naw, that ainít right at all Itís about taking it down a notch Nawp, wrong again Itís about taking it down a notch How could you even know? Itís about taking it down a notch Thatís what I just said Well, take it down a notch Iíll take it down a notch. The Reverend Victor Lovera once wrote: ďThou art god.Ē Monotheism Pah. Next up for auction: A box of Bonine Meclasine hydrochloride Itís an anti-emetic 8 tablets, itís chewable once-a-day protection It prevents motion sickness It works 4 times longer Causes less drowsiness Bonine, people Works up to 4 times longer and Causes less drowsiness Than original Dramamine And this package is raspberry flavored Do I have a first bid? Bonine Directory assistance, may I help you? Yes? Whatís the name? Frank? Whatís that last name again? Balesteri, Frank Balesteri? E? Do you have an address? No address Many addresses I donít have time, sir! I will luck him up Bales- E? With an i? Balesteri? Frank Bales- oh! Sir, Frank Balesteriís dead. Flomax, part 2 I go to bed at 10 and 11 I have to get up at 2 To relieve my bladder Excruciating pain I go back to bed I gotta get back up around 5 To relieve my bladder Itís over 50 prostate enlargement Somebody explain Flomax Splain I come back and go to bed When I wake up around 7 I have to go relieve my bladder What shall I do? Whatís that? You have sound for emphasis You are emphatic Turn it up I canít hear it Whatís that, you say? You have sound for emphasis You turn the volume up You are emphatic Whatís that, you say? I canít hear it Turn it up! 650 WSM, R. Stevie Moore And we just heard the new remaster From the original Breetles album called ďSquares in PairsĒ I think that came from 2000 1000 9 And going backwards we heard Lysie Pay for the Check Sheís Buying Not the Only Girl Jolene Revenge part 2 (I like that one) And Hang On To Everything Weíll be right back / And weíre back now WBLS Celebrating the new remaster of ďSquares in PairsĒ Sort of an unknown classic by The Breetles From the year 1006 And here comes Side 2 Tracks are called: Their Day Now, thatís t-h-e-i-r day Possessive Ďtheirí? Their day, they owned that day And, sorry to get distracted Have you noticed with people having problems online With the 3 theres! T-H-E-R-E T-H-E-I-R possessive And even worse is the contractual T-H-E-Y-apostrophe-R E Which is They Are, R Then came: Iím Not Crazy Squares and Pairs Theme TV Station Why Canít I Feel What I Say? Supervisor Blues Belgian Holiday And we ended the set, Wait, we havenít started! This is the upcoming set, coming up soon Weíll be right back. / And welcome back This is WABC Good Guys And Iím RSTVMO And we just heard the complete Breetles remaster For his 2nd album from 1006, called ďSquares In PairsĒ Hope you enjoyed it Weather We got the weather? Itís been pretty amazing Hereís the intense weather. Tiger Wood Not Things are slow all over Dear Prudential LaBrea Tarboots Tiger Wood Not Uh uh uh uh uh Shiftless Uh uh uh uh uh I got so much class I ainít even used yet Uh uh uh uh uh Vietti chili Uh uh uh uh uh Mad chill Uh uh uh uh uh Claptrap Uh uh uh uh uh GSTPO Uh uh uh uh uh Florsheim Uh uh uh uh uh Replace your divots Uh uh uh uh uh Uh uh uh Coo Coo Marlin I declare Uh uh uh uh uh Donít lose your head To gain a minute You need your head Your brains are in it! Uh uh uh uh uh Perpendicular footpaths Uh uh uh uh uh Neely Auditorium Uh uh uh uh uh Set a standard, Stevie Dime store Lps Vegeterrible Hey Will.i.am My castile of quite Yíall ainít nuhíin And I was right! My castile of quite Yíall ainít nuhíin And I was white! Oh ok Get the kids all out of the room by now I got some fuckiní shit to bring on you here Get the kids out of here I got some shit, I got some shit I gotta fuckiní Lay on you people Get the kids out Alright, Iíll wait Every time you open your mouth I am privileged to hear it Bravo! Encore! Hey Sharifa Every time you open your mouth I am within earshot Bullshit! Bravo! Encore! Hey lady Every time you enter my building Holding your cellphone I am privileged to hear it Bravo! Encore! Hey twinge Little Miss Tweenge twoange Come up to my room Hey lady twinge Princess twinge twoange Follow me Come up to my room Iím never going to touch another Guitar again Woman again Drink again Drug again Computer again Cellphone again Obscenity again Law again Sharpie again Forklift again 1040 again. Stimulating talk Fine particulates Hideous lump sum annuity Telebrands Oscar Brand I was once a Cheshire cat And I never gave way to you. Go to your room, my sons Go to your room, Beaver Go to your room, Wally Go to your room, without supper. Bit poetra Jill Horny Whatís for brekkie? Put 5-wk old baby in the oven 375, baked on premises Reffic refuses to referee I am writing as fast as I can think I am writing as fast as my fingers will allow Medium slow, sluggish Sluggo Nancy was Copasí babe Indigent The Counts of Nowhere at Saunderís Ferry boat dock, meet The Bitter Sparrow at Hullabaloo Bell Grimes Lane sucks Dickerson Road Spits it out, and gags Tastes like paint Thinner? And U call this dinner? Iíll take U to court, Jester Anyone for tennis-on? Close yet so far MP3, you wonít listen to me CDR, you still believe in me I wasnít ready, arenít you? Unlike you, I can do everything No visionary fulfillment Satch and Slip Mahoney Baloney pony express Sasha Frere-Jones-E Xray Anger manager Youíll know when you see it And you call this dinner? My DeSoto has been recalled For malfunctioning clutch Clutch Too much Crutchfield, Robin Meade Headline nuke And this was your health minute. Aaaauuugggh! Whatís the matter? Well, Iím having a panic attack I have an anxiety disorder So, donít panic. Relax! Oh, itís that easy, is it? Whatís your secret? Sheís sound asleep. Well, I think itís, uh, A B C, D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y & Z I Y Now I do my numbers 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 and on up 5 9 9 5 Y I reckon Hey how do I look? I just took a shower Notice any change? Itís a lot better, isnít it? Come here, look You like it? I just took a shower. Saint Patrick Mathe The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure Chris Prentiss Corned beef and cabbage? Green Patrick The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure Green Chris Prentiss Corned beef and cabbage? The Green Alcoholism and Addiction Cure Chris Green Prentiss Green corned beef and cabbage? Bono Roo Be prepared What was that? Remember? Boy Scouts motto? Be prepared Bit poetry Jillís warning Whatís for brekkie? Put 5-wk old baby in the oven 375, baked on premises Home alone shark Some reasoning Is that your phone? You lost me, how does it feel? It doesnít? Needs to be in on Teterboro calling Bit poetry And thatís our dinner? This is The Voice Living in 20-10 will be our subject for this evening 20-10? I donít think so, not yet Two thousand ten But, like 19 . . in the past Eventually weíll drop the ďthousandĒ word And revert to ďtwentyĒ I hope that answers your question Pump up the jam Pump it up While the bodyís thumpiní Get your booty on the floor tonight Make my day Bit poetry. This is the Voice Iím inside of my own mouth room Voiceroom Living in 2010 will be our subject for this evening And category A What? You didnít like the way I said that Take 2 Keep up good work Keep up good work Keep up good work Keep up good work Keep up good work Keep up good work Keep up good work Bit poetry. Did I tell you about this guy? I saw this guy I told ya? Naw, I didnít tell ya yet Got a second? Thereís this guy outside I was looking at him through the window Heís out over on the sidewalk near the hedge And I guess he worked for the company that has the building Or maybe the government Who knows, the town? He was doing some yardwork over by the hedge And I noticed he was trying to clean up some leaves That had fallen from the tree above That old tree You know that big old tree? He was cleaning up the leaves Right by the hedge He started cuttiní up the leaves One at a time Cuttiní up a leaf With a marshmallow Cuttiní leaves with marshmallows I donít know how he does it I donít think he was having much luck It was across the street I canít see that far I got my binoculars He wasnít cuttiní any leaves at all! How can you cut You canít cut a leaf with a marshmallow Our tax dollars at work, I guess OK, Iíll get back to ya Hold on, goodnight. Please get just two rolls every two days Keeps them from spoiling Getting those little green dots Are those green dots harmful? I pick Ďem out And use the bread Not very good But Iím scared of those green dots Rs Gratia Rtis Rs gratia rtis Hurricane Cynthia Hurricane Julian Rs Gratia Rtis Martin Lewis Rs Gratia Rtis Hurricane Yoko Hurricane Shine Get 2 rolls every 2 days Talking as music As part of a heart healthy diet The soluble fiber in me Can help lower your cholesterol As part of a heart healthy diet The soluble fiber in me Can help lower your cholesterol As part of a heart healthy diet The soluble fiber in me Can help lower your cholesterol UPS truckís here. BRB Weíll be right back B right back When we come back A disclaimer Welcome back Yeah I know, Iím not supposed to be singing Supposed to just keep this as talking But Iím just feeling so nice and good today Itís beautiful outside I just canít resist Love is a many splendored thing. Someone will object And thatís how you know Itís a good idea. I miss krys The genuine article Which krys? Omg The wicked witch of the west The wicked witch of the west The wicked witch of the west The wicked witch of the east The wicked witch of the east The wicked witch of the weast The wicked witch of the weast Are you timing me? The wicked witch of the north The wicked witch of the north The wicked witch of the south The wicked witch of the south The wicked witch of the west Which krys? I want to record me reading text from the computer But that means I got to carry the microphone To the other part of the room Itís too much trouble I need to sometimes print out Whatís on the computer So I can bring the piece of paper Over to the other side of the room Where the microphone is When will I get it together? Rs gratia Rtis Wellmont Zappa Volz had extra ticket Son couldnít go January 16th 8pm Montclair I leave at 6:15 Dinner with Chris and Nancy Grace Have fun at home Save that burger and salad, Dweezil! Son of obituary Twinge tweenge twoange Go to my tomb Twinge tweenge twoange Insertion your womb Twinge tweenge twoange Doom and gloom Twinge tweenge twoange To whom (it may concern) Twinge tweenge twoange Danger looms Twinge tweenge twoange Billy Mumi Twinge help me out tweezers Enroll at Hume-Fogg Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Youíre not listening to Michael Shelleyan Orphan Frank Balesteri had a rap group From Montclair/East Orange Circa 1992-3 Called The Orfinz Featuring the leaderman Git Loose (GL) FYI Ah, weíre back, itís midnight WMFU motherfucker My nameís Uncle Eeef And we just heard a long set Errorism Beautiful Lullaby Going backwards here Edit Presley Closing Credits Those Mathematicians X 2 Blue Snowball Walk Softly darliní Iím Cominí Ooh Lady John Mayer and Jessica Simpson Whereís My Whiskey? And we started out the set a long time ago With Itís Not True It isnít Motherfucker Seeking Solutions With Suzanne Welcome This is the time of year When I so enjoy going outside And seeing all the little children with very little clothes on I take my camera and take pictures of them And bring them back Life is wonderful And youth is even better than that I remember back in Des Moines When we used to go out on the first day of spring To the community company pool And everybody was half naked I couldnít control myself Itís Adam and Eve So letís all get together outdoors And look at the little children Get up close And bring your camera. Well, imagine that Where we going with this here? Trying to get comfortable Relax It ainít gonna happen I need a massage The past twenty years And one wouldnít do it I need about a hundred of Ďem Then check back for results My life has come to a halt. A bad habit tendency to work on: Stevie, donít attack Just ignore. Iíve said it all before No one thought it was that important So Iíve stopped, for good. Now suddenly, it was important? Everybodyís doiní it, doiní it, doiní it Pickiní their nose and chewiní it, chewiní it Some think itís candy, but itís not Itís really cold boogers and hot snot. Yeah, this is the big bad blogster Headline newsanchor ladybabes Got this disturbing new trend Upturned Linguistics? Theyíre reading sentences Which end as if in questions? Slightly condescending? As if theyíre intending to clarify? That which they assume that You donít understand? Like youíve not been paying attention? To them stating the obvious? The adult teacher instructing Us young students? Pupils? Itís kind of hard to describe it to you Without you hearing it So, my plan is to Hafta tape it Examples of proof Susan Hendricks and Christy Paul And some of the other ones who are Just as good as runway models In my book? Her behind is mine I got it real cheap: I found it. Her behind is mine You came in here with teeth, Do you wanna leave with teeth? Ye shall know the truth and The truth shall make you free. Her behind is mine That can be arranged I got it real cheap: I found it. Her behind is mine I got it real cheap. I found it. Would you call me a cab? Youíre a cab! I gave at the office Why chance it? Let me finish! Liverwurst J Mascis on Jay Leno J-Lo for Jay Reatard Why chance it? Let me finish! Gift ban Asbestos The one who loses the least money is a big winner I have heard OF them but not their music I gave at the office Why chance it? You want me to do something else for you As if I donít (already) do enough? Pole strap LLP Ė limited liability partnership I gave at the office Why chance it? Let me finish! My next album will be quite the stunner (just like my last ten were) Let me finish! Hat city intuitive I gave at the office Neither Chilton nor Hitchcock Why chance it? Let me finish! Text rage Solution? Hand sanitizer Text rage Solution? Hand sanitizer Bit poetry Solution? Mouth sanitizer Verify Text rage Solution? Hand sanitizer Text rage Solution? Get rid of those typewriters, Why doncha say! The little midget desks You carry around in your mouth And put Ďem in your ear Shocking Shocking Walkie talkie Iíll never do it! I need to gargle Do a search on gargle See what kinda keywords I could come up with To find the best results Iím putting all my eggs in one basket Pick yourself up, Iíll be hard to handle I gave at the office Unable to come to terms with you Iím putting all my eggs in one basket Gradually lost its luster This just ainít a good day for leaving Debonaire fricke and frack Unable to come to terms with me Stubborn, kind, Othello Donít move, if you know whatís good for you The advancement of colored pens Ctrl Alt Delete Rib rub Unable to come to terms with you Iím open for anything. Thumbs Iím gonna cut off all your thumbs, world Then you wouldnít be able to communicate Thumbs You donít see me sittiní around with my thumbs Come over here, honey Look, thumbs! My left thumb and my right thumb Pickiní away like an animal on the prairie Iím gonna chop off all their thumbs Thumbs Is this a comedy record? File under humor With Rudy Ray Moore In front of or behind Heh heh heh heh heh Morlocks The house is not in order Secure horizons Closet cosmosis The house is not in order Morlocks Transition device Assumes good faith Outmoded sensibilities Courtroom bathroom leak Morlocks The house is not in order Due process, we digress Hurry, see if you qualify Verify Posthumorous comptroller Acidic ridicule The house is not in order Itís pretty clear that you have no idea What you are talking about I couldnít write a plain song if I tried When I have tried, it comes out as satire or parody or satire The house is not in order Dictatorial memorial But bet I didnít, but bet, but bet Bet your life, Bett My father used to call my mother Bett I feel a cerebral hemorrhage coming on fast With fries Jealous, zealous, tell us, fellas Yella submarine sandwich from Subway The house is not in order The embodiment of progressive ideals This is the greatest day of my life So far Morlocks Blimpie base Donít come back now, yíhear? The race is on And here comes pride up the back stretch Look out, coming by the wayside Liquid paper Nesmith white-out Racist trend Your racist friend Racist concept Racist conception Dark goes invisible Itís erased When the white son rises Comes up over the horizon Up your block Day beats night every time Well, the race is on And here comes love at the outside Liquid paper Nesmith white-out Racist trend Dark goes invisible When the white sun rises Comes up over that horizon Up your block Day eats the night every time. You can call me Ray You can call me Blu-ray But ya donít hafta call me Johnny Ray, Billy Ray, or Diane Renay renal More is overrated Less is better More is underrated Less is unrelated To Mary Ford Tater platters My staff briefed me on it You may not right mouseclick this page But nevertheless Iím examining the logistics of your Buddy Lee Attractions parallel hamlet Glib contempt Cut the dailies I pout to get my way Get your coat Iíll get my coat Ursula Andress undress for me Send your email address to me But you donít hafta call me Quincy Jones Heads out tails out Googleís doodle dandy Donít leave home without it Spectre. Text rage Sexed up underage, child Canít find no over age, like me Text rage To myself with my thumbs Overage in the cash register Musta gave back too little change back Text rage Sexed up over aged, like fine wine Still got some spunk left Pour me a glass Consume my seed Secede from the union Text rage Touch you Masterpiece flesh Tom Tresh Stop them! Itís a good thing I filmed her younger That girlís gone now But I kept her purty body in formaldehyde On DVD Text rage? Spin man! Stevie Joe McAlister, Tallahachie bridgework Live to play live Been there done that Live to play live I donít think so It killed me Now donít be fooled I ainít makin all this stuff up as I go along In every room, I got a a little blank sheet of paper And a writiní pen And whatever I think up, I jot down Spin man! Keith Richards fingers Swollen bone joints arthritis points Hurts bad, pretty sad Stiff and numb Dead cartilage in my thumb Keith and Richardís finger paints Spin man! Wordplay, never cared for it Canít even finish a sentence Retirement requirement I myself put a small stuffed animal In the rear window of my car Lil Cutie on board Wordplay, never cared for it Susan Boyle crisis Itís the mileage thatís slowing me down Hey, a guy has to eat Johnnie and Jack, Jim and Jesse Floods across the nation Find the fatal flaw Wordplay, never cared for it Itís the mileage thatís slowing me down Harry Merry and the Must Mickie Most and the Gear Whoís you? Where you were? Wordplay, never cared for it Never cared for it. Move out! Yíall move out! Move out! Yíall move out! Move out! Yíall Move out! Hello! Hi, cat! What about it? What? Pearly gates Obit poetry BD Bondage & discipline Born and died Pearly gates Obit poetry Johnny maestro dead Everybodyís just standing in line Standing in line To die Sad?? Why yíall get sad? Lifespan means nothiní Theyíre just Next in Line Pearly gates Obit poetry R U connected in their daily lives? Nawwww Ė they old Be glad Good riddance. Channel 5 Fox News Good Day New York New york fort Carolyn Gussoff pissed off Apparent homicide A lady giving birth Babies having babies having babies Some thug with gun Broke in and shot her head A robbery gone bad And Carolyn Gussoff is pissed off Monopoly money Cause of death: breath Can you smell the oral stench? Dental records _ and tapes Monotonous, honey And that makes Carolyn Gussoff pissed off Apparent homicide. Just 1 note Is that all you can sing? Just 1 note Is that all he can sing? Hey you guys, no music, remember? ======================================== SPEAKS SPEAKS Hello kiddies This is your old Uncle Steve With another bedtime storey Hey children, sample my voice Free of charge Iím gonna seem to have a lot of rockiní Iím gonna come and seem to have a lot of rockiní Iím gonna have a lot of rockiní, it seems Iím gonna seem to have a lot of rockiní tonight Iím gonna seem to have a a lot Twinge? Tweenge twoange Go to your room Twinge? Tweenge twoange Go to your room Twinge? Tweenge twoange Go to your room Twinge? Tweenge twoange Go to your room We can day a break Break a day And come back For right now, though, letís Letís day a break Weíll break a day And come back the following Yeah, yeah Letís day a break Break a day Weíll day a break Break for a day Weíll day for a break And we wonít even count that one Then the one right after Weíll come back Get back to work But for right now letís Day a break. Take the fifth You ainít gonna say nothiní Take the fifth You ainít got to say nothiní Anyway Back to court Take the stand You donít have to say. Stop suffering Sorry it is so Stop suffering Sorry it is so Stop suffering Sorry it is so Stopped suffering Sorry it was so Eric Andre texted Eric Mayer What do you wanna do? Why did they cross the road? To get to the other Sidebottom So was LimeWire a bust? Itís all 12 January You have cheered me up Twenty Tenfold Fruitgum company Now at popular prices Now showing Iím a drug addict And Iím quite happy here Straight and sober Equals Irritations Lobotomy Walk out onto the plane wing And youíll see: NO STEP Rodney Vodka Ricky Whiskey Roger Scotch Ryan Wine Robert Bourbon Ken Gin Tila Tequila RIP Peterbilt So up Soup Sew up With needle Ďn thread So up! Soup Chunky! Peanut butter soup With needle and thread You have cheered me up Twenty tenfold. Mama mama Whatís all this big deal about That I need an editor? Gonna tie my hands up Behind my back, yeah Strangulation Just a fraction of me will do. Ya know these days Ya know, these days This era Iím startiní to get so feeble and lazy And noncommittal That the only way I can continue to create audio Is to have a vocal mike set up And all I gotta do is hit a button I donít hafta pick up anything I donít hafta do anything In fact, even thatís too much So, continuing in this vein This is an instruction to myÖ Nuno, you need to take all of these parts And put them together as you see fit Doesnít matter if I approve or not Hereís the contract Sign where it Xís in red And weíll get things going Pretty much instantaneously posthumously. Hurry up Why you take so long? You think I got all day? Letís go Move it Twiddling my thumbs Glancing at my watch Pacing down the hall Careful not to fall Turtle race Snailís race Wrinkled face In outer space Coming up next on BET Black American Idol A Pete Smith Specialty Manual manic Annual anecdote A people A people Manual manic Annual anecdote A people A people Then I wrote: Sir Isaac Newton Experimentia Psychopomp (shamanism) Collagen Elastin A Pete Smith Specialty Manual manic Annual anecdote A people A people London bridge is falling down Terry Burrows Andy Partridge Mccartney and wings Margaret thatcher Richard Anderson Cherry red Paul mccartney and wings You know, Iíve just noticed Part of my leg has gotten smaller You know that part right in the middle of your leg That kinda bulges out Between the bottom half and the bottom half? Itís gettingí smaller Itís shrinking That part of my leg is gettiní small I donít know what Iím gonna do about it Call my doctor Knee, grow! Hardin, Scheff and Tutt Hardin, Scheff and Tutt Hardin, Scheff and Tutt Hardin, Scheff and Tutt Harden chef and touch Wilkinson You donít eat dessert before the meal Youíre catching me Right in the middle of a meltdown Am I supposed to try and hide it? Fuck no! Salt first, sugar later You donít eat dessert before the meal Cookies ainít an appetizer Ice cream ainít the salad Cake and pie are afterthoughts Salt first, sugar later Check check check check cash Hip rop rap pop hap hip hop Hey, I just figured out what rap really is: Poetry in motion Am I close? Hip rop rap pop hap hip hop Was I close? Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Ok, bye. ďWho was that?Ē The Yes Album I may be nuts but Iím not that nuts They sure gon bleep thatín out They damn sure gon bleep thatín out This is like the old days Fall in, cats This is just like the old days Fall in, cats Howís friend? Companyís cominí Better stand up my mattress Companyís comÖ uh No, itís just Krys Better stock up on Post-It Notes Itís the only way we communicate We communicate with Post-It Notes Thatís all she wrote. Whatís a veteran progressive popster DIY home recording genius Gotta do to get a drink around here? Idle time scan Idle time scan Rubber baby buggy bumpers Miasma of perfidy From brilliant to irritant MP3 blind mice Learn to listen, not hear Itís raining menopause button Awkward / awesome From brilliant to irritant Idle time scan. Please! No singing No dancing No swearing This is a respectable house Those rapidly implied passing chords Just make the isotopes in my brain explode Why do you lie about Worship Lords? There will be no more Why do you lie about Worship Lords? There will be no more. IRA Ira Gitler Ira North Ira Robbins Ira Kaplan IRA Dodo Marmarosa Swashbuckler filibuster Out-maneuvers you And further we slide They spoke with their pocketbooks Diabolical diet Swashbuckler filibuster Out-maneuvered me And further we slide They spoke without their pocketbooks Diabolical diet Levitational bargain bins Dubious, discuss Levitational bargain bins Dubious, discuss Levitational bargain bins Dubious, discuss Levitational bargain bins Dubious, discuss Tangy gnat, exit music Tangy gnat, exit music Tangy gnat, exit music Tangy gnat, exit music Levitational bargain bins Dubious, discuss Levitational bargain bins Dubious, discuss Levitational bargain bins Dubious, discuss Exit music, tangy gnat Was not closed properly Itís not responding Foibles! The Rank Organisation Contacts risquť Americurse Junkman, junkman If you canít use it I sure can Junkman WFMU with Michael Jackson WFMU with Michael Buble WFMU with Michael J. Pollard Fox WFMU with Michael Douglas WFMU with Michael Jordan WFMU with Michael Jodry WFMU with Michael Hopper WFMU with Michael Landon WFMU with Michael Gorbachev WFMU with Michael Clarke WFMU with Michael Phelps WFMU with Michael Keaton WFMU with Michael Nesmith WFMU with Michael Vick WFMU with Michael Moore WFMU with Michael rode a boat ashore WFMU with Michael Row the Boat a-Shelley Honey I want your bod I donít believe in Godfish Honey I want your bod I donít believe in Godcast Honey I want your bod I donít believe you lod, you cheated God bodflesh Honey she wants my rod I donít believe in Mod Lang Honey she wants Ken Dodd Dod Honey I want your bod I donít believe in Godflesh Honey I want your bod Remember to nod if you disagree to agree Bod I donít believe in wad oí cash Honey I want Voivod I donít believe in plastercaster Rock Dodd Sod Honey I want your bod I donít believe in the Oddsquad Honey I want her bod I donít believe in Godfish Honey I want your bod I donít believe in car keys Honey I want your god Letís go to Cape Cod Cod Levitational garbage Levitational bargain binsí Dubious, discuss Levitational bargain binsí Dubious, discuss Tangy gnat Educational tardy slips Imitate art Invitational garden state Imitate art Congregational pardon me Imitate art Imitate Sharon Tate Imitate Sharon Tate Inspirational target group Dubious, discuss Observational punchiní bag Imitate art Little Nat Big Nat Tangy gnat Breet gave up, wouldnít you? For the Haitian retarded men Dubious, discuss Levitational bargain binsí Dubious, discuss I think Donna just pulled up Jessika Simpsonal garbage bag Dubious disgust. Text me, sexy Iíll use white-out TMI Cheese and lettuce sandwiches T M I My eyes donít listen so good sometimes Hot nocturne hood pass Epic scale Iím unwelcome Iím unwelcome Text me, sexy Faust, oh Papetti! A healthy dose of thank you George Butch Rock in opposition Rotten opposition Iodine in my coffee Love many, trust few Text me, sexy Always paddle your own canoe Love many, trust few They used to get Mozart out of bed by playing C D E F G A B He had to get up to play that final missing C. Love many, trust few Always paddle your own canoe Gonna pump butt No questions asked Iím unwelcome. Demos Them Oís again Pickin up O-2 at OíHare O heh O heh O OíTool Pickin up OíToole at OíHare O Henry Oh say, can U C? E3 Odelay Beck O-la Fuckin Beck, 2 Becks, Beiderbecks Ola Oh Demos Doesnít anybody owe me? Odelay Beck O-la Fuckin Beck, 2 Becks, Beiderbecks Ola OK! O Effendi Aight Aight Thatís about as best as I can jewish Thatís about the best as I can jewish Aight aight I guess Iím ready Demos Oís Those Oís Cherrios Them Oís Demos How much do I owe you, daddy? How much do I owe humanity? How much do I owe you, Joe Pro? How much do I owe you, humanity? Demos Them Oís Ever since Iíze a baby I owes you I need proof How much do I owe ya, Mama? How much do I owe you, Spunky Monkey? Dem Oís How much do I owe ya, Joe Pro? How much do I owe ya, Yella Rose? Them Oís Got me feelin down Ohís Colliding circles Dem Oís How much do I owe ya, Sister Krys? How much do I owe ya? Owen Bradley Otis Fodder O. C. Smith Okeephenokee Oh dem Oís Over the rainbow Omar Sharif Obamalamadingdong Obituary O holy night Oasis Oh, the places weíll go Oakland Raiders Didnít do it See? Forgot! I forgot See? Forgot! Didnít do it See? Forgot! I forgot to See? Forgot! Didnít do it I had planned to Didnít do it I forgot Didnít forget To remember See? Forgot! Didnít do it See? Forgot! See? Memory loss Itís just what they predicted Itís true It has happened What was I talking about? The hidden camera The hidden Aztec camera 21 and over 21! And over Caps lock The hidden camera The hidden Aztec camera Chillax Ways and Means Committee Too Much Freedom of Information Act Ways and Means Committee Too Much Freedom of Information Act The dreaded mass-artist sing-along Tremendousfucking.com Just wait til I catch you at the top of the stairs Outburst The hidden camera The hidden Aztec camera Mashups and drop-ins The damage was what? Democrats, uncross your arms Democrats, uncross your arms A kick in the pussy is just getting my feet wet My dirty look is in the laundry. By David Shrigley: One hour later I slap you I am suffering nightly And the doctor has nowt to say Black polish is ready on the brush One hour later I slap you Stop the lap dance I want to go home Not quite halfway through One hour later I slap you Try shutting your eye No beginning or end Birds overwhelm us One hour later I slap you Sheís ready to pounce and she weighs a ton Neither useful nor thought-provoking I got nut ache Donít say the word Ďshití Make art, not friends Dressed like a snail One hour later you slap me Hungry dogs eat dirty pudding I wrote a letter on the computer And the next day it was gone I wanna spend my wages Whose teeth are these? Are they yours? I make badly mistakes all the time Call me whatever, or Dave. Veto the vote! Big dig St. Ives Would you were you me? Womb to tomb We service major brands Veto the vote! Advertisement: clicking will not affect upload Draws scrutiny Sleet Sleet Sleet Rodan It shall be done Sisters abducted by their Dad Right now your low self esteem Is just good common sense Veto the vote! And now A shift in perspective The Great Firewall of China Thatís false advertising Top story: Rural urban rural Expand collapse Down to the footer A shift in perspective will return. And now Back to A shift in perspective Blue blood vessels = sad Red blood vessels = hot I had not, I had not Green blood vessels = jealous Yellow jaundice Clear blood vessels R invisible And then he realized that he was talking out loud. Amber alert Amber alert Amber alert Amber alert Amber alert Amber alert Amber alert Amber alert Amber alert Amber alert Amber alert Amber alert Amber alert Amber alert. Top right corner folded over fwd Centrifugal bumble-puppy Huxley Top right corner folded over fwd Centrifugal bumble-puppy Huxley Thank you for having me Get outside Ditzy and dimwitted Jimmie Driftwood Imbruglia Thank you for having me Top right corner folded over fwd Centrifugal bumble-puppy Huxley Thank you for having me. There's nothing to decide Time catches up, then it sets you free I made a donation With my gambling I know them tall trees Don't do a thing for me I let 'em go up So stop your rambling Oh what a life one can lead If you bleed, what you need They call me at the crack of dawn And expect me to show on time Then I'll find what is on the line Through panes of glass Tongues of fire Walls of barbed wire We're filming every day This week on the Shores of the Holy Sea Maybe we'll find some mercy. (ďStunt DoublesĒ by Lane Steinberg) Hi, this is pop star RSM Stranded at Chavez Ravine Can you come pick me up? For sex? Come quick! Bring camcorder Thanks. I got cookies and chips And Doritos and pretzels All kinds of good health food Whatís for lunch? I like my cheeses I like Swiss and American And cheddar and provolone And Monterey Jack Letís have something to eat I got bread I need some rolls We got some salad and some garlic Iíd like to have, um How about some sorbet? Arguably The single most important _____ In American history Letís try that one again, letís not Arguably The single most important _____ In American history R. Stevie Moore laughs ( * ) Arguably The single most important _____ In American history Top right corner. Mother Goose rhymes Rhythm ĎN Blues You know what Iím sayin? Mother Goose rhymes Rhythm ĎN Blues You know what Iím sayin? Clark Howard ex-stooge Iím a cynical critic Youíre a critical cynic Stepping on your turf Ub Iwerks Howdy duty Confusiasm Confusiasm Confusiasm Electrical soil You know what Iím sayin? Well, Mama Anytime I hear a loud voice outside I prance across the room I gotta look. Itís Hillbilly Day! Iím eatiní some potato chips And having a good old time Just finished with my daily ritual Orgy of one Just try to masturbate As well as I used to 30, 40 years ago Canít be done I sure enjoy trying. Sell R Watch me on the news They got me playing the blues I donít know why. I am woman Self-love shelf life I am woman Hear me roar Self-love shelf life. R hear me roar I am woman Self-love Sisters R doin it for themselves Shelf life Hear me roar I am womb Twinge Tweenge twoange Go to your room Twinge Tweenge twoange Go to your room Dear? Your brother wants to give you the list of duties Howdy duty Go to your room Twinge? Tweenge twoange Come to my room. Nuno poco nuno Nuno franco nuno Nuno KO nuno Topo nuno boota Nuno dago nuno Nuno tiptoe nuno Nuno mia nuno Topo nuno Loretta Nuno Leo nuno Nuno zebo nuno Nuno banjo nuno Topo nuno Plantenga Nuno hoho nuno Nuno soho nuno Nuno no know nuno Nuno, how so? Nuno Topo nuno Giggio Nuno Joepro nuno Nuno depot nuno Nuno Cano nuno Topo nuno Loretta Nuno chateau nuno Nuno plateau nuno Nuno bureau nuno Topo nuno boota. Have you heard the news? What did it say? I just canít seem to get a handle on it Well, take it down a notch Then Iíll even get less of a handle on it Well then, take it back up 2 notches Now I got a handle on it I bet you do! ButÖ I just canít seem to get a handle on it Well then, take it down a notch Then Iíll even get less of a handles on it Well then, take it back up 3 notches Now I got 3 handles on it I bet you do! Do! Do! This just in: Brad Jackson was a member of the Jackson Fried Good Fridee Palm sundee Jerk me off, Madoff Easter pudding cummer Facial shot Jackson Good Friday the 13th Rabbits foot black cat pussy Claudia Linnear & Alecia Keys Palm sundee Palmiero palm palm Easter pudding cummer Facial shot Brad Jackson was in the Jackson Fried. Well, I seem to got a little bit of a Head cold here Can you tell that? Can you hear it? Been sick for about three days Itís not really throat related I ainít got much problem swallowing Or coughing Itís all concentrated in the head And my eyes are terrible And my nose and nasal passages Forget about it And I just wanted to let you know I just blew my nose for the 47th 47000th time this week And hereís the toilet paper that I blew it in on Cou-wouldja look at this? Look Now how would you feel about eatiní that? Would you do that for me? Use your imagination Go over the edge Extend thy boundaries Just lick it up a little? I wanna watch Hold on, lemme get the camcorder Alright, Iím back You donít wanna eat it? Itís not for me neither I donít think I want it Have a nice day! Iím just gonna commit suicide I hate weariní shirts But that just means I canít be around nobody Cause I donít want anybody to see me Without weariní no shirt I hate weariní shirts Hold on UPS truck Is that your phone? Matthews and Son Eddie Matthews He was with the Philadelphia Reds? Or was that the Mugwumps? This track incorporates elements of flash Please alert us to any difficulties Click to enter Hmm, Matthews ďClickĒ ďClickĒ Hmm, not responding. ďClickĒ Alert!!!!! This is too difficult! Matthews and Son A world comprised entirely of Market forces The city under the city Elvisí velvet is felt. Forum. Matthews and Son Good to know Good to know! Bedroom rap cult Digested flags Protein shake Whoís hungry? Rsm Ė pop under the underground with Matthews and Sonwumps. Czar Child czar WTF do you live for? Join the Marines Canít get a good Grasp grip on it Czar (It had) that certain something Join the Marines Ogden Nashville Ogg Vorbis These are all starting to sound like Don Van Vliet And I need to try on a different day (Frank? Is he here? Gettingí coffee? Could you stop the machine?) Maybe Iíve reached my limit Besides the fact that Iím not feeling so well And my voice doesnít sound so hot Maybe Iíve gone overboard Maybe I should stop Let it go Itís just that this has become an addiction Daily voice recordings I donít wanna make music anymore Itís too much work This isnít too much work at all But whaddya know? Iíve taken it to its extreme as well The man needs an editor, and The moment I have to stop being R. Stevie Moore I canít imagine what that means Itís killing me But, to stop? Is virtually impossible So Oh, Frankís back? Ok Hope you didnít record that. YOU DID?! Hello Mr. EMI Before George Martin passes away I would just like to thank him Would you please pass this along? Iíll hold, yes Hello, Capitol? Capitol Records? Oh, Capitol Tower Yes Before George Martin passes away I would just like to thank him Would you please pass this along? Shop steward, shop shop steward Man overboard Do not pick up hitchhikers Respectfullyo Chutney stasis Shop steward, shop shop steward Tacky animated gifs and shitty html Right. Gdnight. This is making me very uncomfortable We knew him when This is making me very uncomfortable We knew him when We knew him when This is making me very uncomfortable But I asked for it We knew him when We knew him when This is making me very uncomfortable But I asked for it We knew him when We knew him when This is making me very uncomfortable Very uncomfortable But I asked for it We knew him when. Inspection Iím gonna give you an inspection Iím gonna give you a full inspection Sho do miss Jo dree Twinge? Tweenge twoange April fools How to disable flash on the camera? Lightning bolt They suck! Inspection Iím gonna give you a inspection Iím gonna give you a foolish inspection Twinge? Tweengw twoange April fools Negro spirituals. Iíd like to bring up Reverend frank Hughesdsfuija Thank you very much Turmoil An ordinary man writing songs 4 ordinary people Turmoil, oop (Man says NO MUSIC) Well, Iíll just read the words: Lonely is an eyesore File under science fiction An alltime flipout inorbit Mother to end all mothers Haile overrated, meow ow White stripes & black keys Make out tape, Johnny Riversí poor side of town Come in my ear Such as it was Tale of the tape Whatevs On your shit list I begga pardon Person non gratia Turmoil Whatevs presley. Amendment! Erikah Badu in Dealey Plaza Amendment! Pounce perks Angry constituents He just cold me Yíknow what I love about cottage cheese? When I put Mrs. Dash on top of it Amendment! Erikah Badu in Dealey Plaza Pencil necked geek Pay more while getting less Amendment! Yíknow I just remembered something: They donít slam that door upstairs, They walk away letting it slam itself! Amendment! Erikah Badu in Dealey Plaza Check, please! Fair Park Will you have an affair w/me? Will you have an affair w/me? Will you have an affair w/me? Fair Park Parking with Susan Saltonstall Fair Park Will you have an affair w/me? Donít worry, your folks wonít find out Click send New msg received: ďI knew you when I know you now, but Not how you think. I think! You seem Ö.. different.Ē Click send New msg received: Will you have another affair w/me? Will you have another affair w/me? Fair Park Donít worry, your folks wonít find out XOXO Click send New msg received: Remind me later Click. Honey Meet me after work Over there at Owen Bradleyís Quonset Hut Hey, you guys Wanna have a game of poker? Tonight? Iím busy But if you want Come and meet me over at Owen Bradleyís Quonset Hut Iíll be there. I have got to quit checkiní my Facebook I have got to stop wasting time checkiní my Facebook I have got to turn the computer off I have got to stop myself from turning the computer back on Just to get on Facebook I got to stop checking on my Facebook. Pardon My Blooper Huh! Ha How you doing? Iím Kermit Schaefer Welcome to our show The tonight Tonight The And Sisters From the old country The A-N-D And Sisters Your forefathers, in other words, 4 Foremothers Or, sisters And theyíre gonna do their song tonight called ďYouíre So Un-fun!Ē Letís hear it for them Pardon my blooper! Sofa king Itís the Sofa King And we have lots of couches on sale tonight at Bobís Furniture Give me that gag order Sofa King Telephone 333-467-???? Pardon my Blooper! Weíre back now Iím Kermit Schaefer Weíre not closed properly When we left last set Be best to power off, come back on 2 drink minimum Declined to be paid for his work Well, heís gone Dick Clark meets Stanley Kubrick Youíve seen that other guy Zacherle? Hoyt Axton, no Walter Alston, thatís the guy! As if you didnít know As if you didnít know Looking at me like, As if you didnít know You know that I know that you knew! AIYDK AIYDK As if you didnít know Dead Kennedys Which are the The new silent majority White is the new Black I read that today Pardon my Blooper Told you! Kay can eat it too Cash strapped City of quartz Key thinking elite Be there as soon as I get my smile on straight Kay can eat it too School evashalation time R. Steven the Ego Captain I make this face a lot ( -o- ) Jennifer Westhoven Interoperability Silly putty everybody Silly putty everywhere Because of everybody Kay can eat it too Her financial services We want to help you with your problem We can stand in between you and the IRS Cash strapped city of quartz KO can eat it too. Itís 5:15 Time to overdose. END TRANSMISSION. ---------------------------------------- next is *MIND CRACK* material? (2 B assembled)

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