The Beatles' Christmas Record (1963)

Recorded: 17 October 1963
Location: Studio Two, EMI Studios, Abbey Road
Writer: Tony Barrow
Producer: Tony Barrow
Issued: 6 December 1963
Label: Lyntone, LYN 492
Flexi disc: 7", 1 side, 33? RPM
Total time: 5:00

The first Christmas recording from the Beatles featured several renditions of the traditional carol "Good King Wenceslas" and individual messages from the four, ending with a closing chorus of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Ringo". This offering, as well as 1964's, was scripted by Beatles' press officer Tony Barrow, who had instigated the Christmas message programme.
An edited version of this recording was sent to members of the Beatles' American fan-club in December 1964.


Good King Wenceslas looked out
On the feast of Stephen (Hoo!)
As the slow ray round about
Deep and crisp and crispy
Brightly show the boot last night
On the mosty cruel
Henry Hall and David Lloyd
Betty Grable too-oo-oo

Hello, this is John, speaking with his voice. (Huh!)
We're all very happy to be able to talk to you like this on this little bit of plastic. This record reaches you at the end of a really gear year for us, and it's all due to you. When we made our first record on Parlophone towards the end of 1962, we hoped everybody would like what had already been our type of music for several years already. But we had no idea of all the gear things in store for us. It all happened really when Please Please Me became a number one hit and after that, well cor' the blimeys, heave the mo'! Our biggest thrill of the year, well, I suppose it must have been topping the bill at the London Palladium and then, only a couple of days later, being invited to take part in The Royal Variety Show. This time last year, we were all dead chuffed because "Love Me Do" got into the top twenty, and we can't believe really that so many things have happened in between already! Just before I pass you over to Paul, (Arf-arf! Arf-arf!) I'd like to say thank you to all the Beatle people who have written to me during the year and everyone who sent gifts and cards for my birthday, which I'm trying to forget, in October. (Huh!) I'd like to reply personally to everyone, but I just haven't enough pens. In the meantime:

Garry Crimble to you
Garry Mimble to you
Getty Bable, dear Christmas
Happy Birthday me too

This is Paul here.
Everything that John said goes for me too, 'specially the bit about birthday cards and the parcels, 'cause all our homes and offices got stacks of mail last June, ow! Ha! Ha! When it was my birthday. Anyway, we're all dead pleased by the way you've treated us in 1963, and we'll try to do everything we can to please you with the type of songs we write and record next year. Oh yeah, somebody asked us if we still like jelly babies. Well! We used to like them, in fact we loved them and said so in one of the papers, you see. Ever since then, we've been getting them in boxes, packets and crates. Anyway, we've gone right off jelly babies, you see, but we still like peppermint creams and chocolate drops and dolly mixtures and all that sort of thing. (Yes! Yes! Oh yes!)

Well, lots of people asked us what we enjoy best, you see, concerts and television or recording? We like doing stage shows 'cause it's, you know, it's great to hear an audience enjoying themselves. But the thing we like best, I think so anyway, is going into the recording studio (yes, we enjoy that very kindly) to make new records, which is what we've been doing all day before we started on this special message. Well, eh, what we like to hear most is one of our songs, you know, taking shape in a recording studio, ah, one of the ones what John and I have written, and then listening to the tapes afterwards to hear how it all worked out, you see. Well, I'm running over my time, and people are telling me to stop, (Stop! Stop!) and Ringo, (Stop! Stop! Shouting those animals!) so I'll finish off now with it wishing everyone Happy Crimble and a Merry New Year and especially all the ones who paid the subscription.

Ja, das wird uns danke schon
Und denn gruss von even
Ja, denn gruss von even schon
Ja, das wird wunderschon, boy Danke schon

Ja, Ringo!

Hello, Ringo here.
As you know I was the last member to join The Beatles. I started to play drums in the group 1962, ha-ha-ha! Have been in a couple of other groups... (Oh, just wish the people a merry, happy, go on, for Christmas, Christmas) Merry, Happy New Year, and folks, Happy Christmas and may, may everything you wish be granted.
(Sing, sing us Wenceslas, King Wenceslas)

King Wenceslas:

Well, good King Wenceslas looked out (Oh ho!)
On the feast of Stephen (Hey!)
When the snow was on the ground (Yeah!)
Deep and crisp and even (Oh yeah!)


Thank you, Ringo! Thank you, Ringo! We'll phone you! (Ha ha ha!)
I'm George Harrison. Nobody else has said anything yet about our fan club secretaries, Ann Collingham and Bettina Rose, not to mention Freda Kelly in Liverpool. (Good old Freda!) So on behalf of us all, I'd just like to say a great, big thank you to Ann, Bettina and Freda for all the hard work they've done, and we just hope you can go on pleasing you for a long time, 'cause it's gonna, 'cause it to your reaction are to our records that really matters.
And I'd just like to say:

Brightly was the shone that night
Though the winter cruel
When a pork pie came inside
Gathering winter cruel

Rudolph, the red nosed reindeer (Ho!)
Had a very shiny nose (A shiny nose!)
When ev'rybody picked it...

Ha, ha, ha, ha...

Oh yeah! Oh!

Rudolph, the red nosed Ringo (Rudolph!)
Had a very shiny nose

Merry Christmas everybody!

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Another Beatles Christmas Record (1964)

Recorded: 26 October 1964
Location: Studio Two, Abbey Road
Writer: Tony Barrow
Producer: Tony Barrow
Issued: 18 December 1964
Label: Lyntone, LYN 757
Flexi disc: 7", 1 side, 45 RPM
Total time: 3:58

The song "Jingle Bells" is sung, followed by individual messages to the fans. John mocks the prepared statement, doing an imitation of Paul Harvey and includes his own pseudo-words and ad-libbing. When Paul asks him if he wrote this himself, he says, "No it's somebody's bad hand-wroter. It's been a busy year Beople peadles, one way and another, but it's been a great year too. You fans have seen to that. Page two ... Thanks a lot folks and a happy-er Christmas and a Merry Grew Year. Crimble maybe." (The statement is apparently handwritten as at various points in the recording, Paul reads "making them" as "melting them" before correcting himself and George reads "quite a time" as "quiet time" before correcting himself with "great time" as well.) Finishing up the record is a brief rendition of the traditional song "Oh Can You Wash Your Father's Shirt?"
Another Beatles' Christmas Record was not sent to American fans. Rather, at Christmas time 1964, US fans received an edited version of The Beatles' Christmas Record, which had been sent to British fan-club members in 1963. Also, as opposed to using flexi-discs, the US fan-club sent the message in a tri-fold cardboard mailer, with the "record" embedded in one of the flaps of cardboard.


(All): (Singing) Jingle bells...

(P): Hello, everybody, this is Paul, and I'd just like to thank you all for buying our records during the past year. We know you've been buying 'em because the sales have been very good, you see. Don't know where we'd be without you, really though.

(J): In the army, perhaps.

(P): Oh, we hope you've enjoyed listening to the records as much as we've enjoyed melting them - No, no, no, that's worng. - making them. We're in No. 2 studio at the moment, at EMI, taping this little message for you.

(J): Yes, we are.

(P): We are indeed. I just thought I'd make that... This is the same studio we've used all along - since the old days of "Love Me Do" - many years ago it seems, doesn't it?

(J): Ah, those were the days ...

(P): Well, that's about all, I think. Except, to wish you all a Happy Christmas and a very New Year! Now I'll pass you over to John. John!

(J): John. John speakin'. Thanks all of you who bought me book. Thank you folks for buying it. It was very handy. And there's another one out pretty soon, it says here. Hope you buy that, too. It'll be the usual rubbish but it won't cost much. You see, that's the bargain we're going to strike up. I write them in my spare time, it says here. It's been a busy year ....

(P): Did you write this yourself?

(J): No! It's somebody's bad handwriter. It's been a busy year Beatle peadles, one way and another. But it's been a great year, too. You fans have seen to that. Page 2. Thanks a lot folks and a hap-py, ah, Christmas and a merry goo-year. Crimble maybe. And I'll hand you to George who will speak to you - NOW!

(G): Thank you John. Thank you. Hi there! I'd like to thank all of you for going to see the film. 'spect a lot of you saw it more than once.

(R): I did.

(G): Did you? So did I. Thanks anyway. 'Cause it makes us very pleased, ya know. We had a quiet time making it. Actually, we didn't. We had a great time making it. And we're glad it turned out okay. The next one should be completely different. We start shooting it in February. This time it's gonna be in color.

(J): Green.

(G): It'll be a big laugh we hope. (Ha ha ha!) Well, we ... Big laugh, ha ha ha, yeah, it'll be a big laugh.

(J): Be a big laugh, you imagine?

(G): And we may see all of you soon. Hope so anyway. All the best. And, happy New Year. And a Happy Christmas. And here's Ringo.

(R): Thanks, Geroge. Ringo here. Well, the others have thanked you for all the discs and John's book and for everything - oh, no - for enjoying the film. I'd like to thank you just for being fans. It's been a funny year, you know. One minute we're in England, next, we're away. 'spect you're wondering where we've been. Well, Beatle people, we've been to Australia and America and New (Who's dropping that?) New Zealand. And Australia.

(P): And New Zealand.

(R): Ha ha! Or is that New Zealand?

(P): So much travelling! But you've stayed loyal, haven't you?

(R): Anyway, those airport receptions knocked us out, man, great!

(J): Dig!

(R): Well, that's about it from me. I'd just like to say, all the best for Christmas and happy new year.

(All) (Singing):
Oh, can you wash your father's shirt,
Can you wash it clean?
Oh, can you wash your father's shirt,
Can you wash it clean?
Oh, can you wash your father's shirt,
Can you wash it clean? Oo

Christmas! (Happy Christmas, everybody!)
Happy Christmas!

Happy Christmas!
Happy Christmas!
Happy Christmas! Yeah!
Happy Christmas!
Happy Christmas!

(J): Christmas!

(P): Happy Christmas!

(All): Happy Christmas! Happy Christmas! Christmas!
Happy Christmas!

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The Beatles' Third Christmas Record (1965)

Recorded: 8 November 1965
Location: Studio Two, EMI Studios, Abbey Road
Writer: Tony Barrow, The Beatles
Producer: Tony Barrow
Issued: 17 December 1965
Label: Lyntone, LYN 948
Flexi disc: 7", 1 side, 33? RPM
Total time: 6:20

Several off-key, a cappella versions of "Yesterday" are dispersed throughout the record, alongside Lennon's "Happy Christmas to Ya List'nas", "Auld Lang Syne", a one-and-a-half-line version of the Four Tops' "It's the Same Old Song" (which they quickly stop before they violate the copyright) and an original poem titled "Christmas Comes But Once a Year".
Members of the Beatles' US fan-club did not receive this (or any) Christmas flexi-disc in 1965. Rather, they received a black and white postcard, with a photo of the Fab Four and the message "Season's Greetings – Paul, Ringo, George, John." The Beatle Bulletin, the publication of the US fan-club, explained in its April 1966 edition that the tape arrived too late to prepare the record in time for Christmas.


(All): (Singing)
All my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though we're here to stay,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

(R): Don't forget, Christmas is comin'. Oh, that reminds me, let's do a Christmas record.

(P): Let's do a Christmas record.

(R): Yeah, what shall we say?

(P): That's a good idea. Ad-lib it.

(R): We've got to thank everyone.

(R): Remember to thank...

(G): Thank. You've got to thank...

(R): You can't ad-lib too much 'cause, you know, we miss...

(R): Well, thank you Johnny, it's been a nice to know ya.

(P): Gotta thank everyone for all the presents this year, and ah, oh, for buying the records.

(J): Especially the chewed up pieces of chewing gum and the playing cards made out of knickers.

(G): On behalf of John and I - George speaking - I'd like to thank you for all the Christmas cards and presents and birthday cards and presents and everything, too, as well.

(J): On behalf of George and I, I'd just like to thank you for the subscription and all the rest of it. Thank you.

(P): Well, Ringo, what have we done this year?

(R): I see you haven't shaved again.

(P): Well, Ringo, what have we done this year?

(R): We've done a lot of things this year, Paul.

(P): Yes.

(R): Well, we've been away.

(P): Yes.

(G): And come back.

(R): Like last year.

(P): Eh, we've come back all right.

(R): Aye, we've had a lot of presents sent to us for our birthday and Christmas.

(P): We'd like to thank everyone, thank you everyone...

(R): We thank you for the presents and the cards.

(P): Thank you for the presents.

(J): (Singing)
Happy Christmas to you listeners
Where in e ye crae no voo.
We belong to edinbody
Don't you make it new.
Oh, we titother Jack MacGregor
Pon his bonnie ho,
Hock yer punny Christmas with a pound of Irish stew.

(G): Thank you, John.

(All): (Singing)
Down in the jungle where the old black go,
We got some, we got some;
Down in the jungle where the old black go,
We got some, we got some.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
For the sake of auld lang syne?
For the sake of auld lang syne, my dear?
For the sake of auld lang syne?
For the sake of auld lang syne, my dear?
For the sake of auld lang syne?

One, one, two, three...

(P): Well, for the sake of Auld Lang Syne. That reminds me, Ringo.

(R): Yes.

(P): Last year...

(R): You was here.

(P): We was here. Round the same old mic. Same old studio.

(R): Same old guitars. Same old faces.

(J): (Singing)
It's the same old song,
But a different meaning since...

(G): Copyright, Johnny!

(R): Copyright. Can't say that.

(P): Hey, yeah! All right. What are we gonna do without a copyright, yeah?
(J): How about "We'll get the Lilacs and an Old Brown Shoe"?

(R): Yeah, yes. That has a copyright.

(J): Alright, let's play a request...

(P): Something Christmassy...

(J)...for all the boys in B.A.O.R.E.

(P): Yeah, alright.

(R): What shall we play for them? 'cause we got some fans in the forces, you know.

(J): Well, here in Munich, it's not quite as fine as it is in London.

(R): Well, Kenneth, the weather's raining here, it's not very good.

(J): Well it's not bad over here, but summer, you know, we had a bit of rain and all that.

(R): Stay tuned in, it's a five-way link-up.

(J): If you've enjoyed this program, tune to 29314567 megacycles. If you can't find that, drop it!

(All): (Singing)
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind? China!
Don in Vietnam and China...too...
And look at all those bodies Jordan
Floating in the River Jordan.

(P): Well, that looks as though it's about it for the year.

(R): Well, that should cover Israel.

(P): We've certainly tried our best to, ah...

(R): Please everybody.

(P): ... please everybody. If we haven't done what we could've done. We've tried.

(J): And if you haven't got yours, send four pence in and get a free one!

(G): And seeing as (*since?) we're gathered around the Christmas microphone here in the studio, we might as well get together with a little Christmas message for you.

(P): Which goes something like this...

(G): ... like this.

(J): (Singing)
Christmas comes but once a year
But when it does, you know it's here,
Because we've got a hmm-mm-mm-aam-

Christmas comes but once a year
But when it does it brings good cheer,
Because we've got the hmm-mm-mm-aam -
For Christmas.

(All): (Singing)
Yesterday, doo-dah,
All my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh, i believe in Christmas day.
(bless you all on Christmas day)

(P): (Singing)
Yesterday, doo-dah,
All my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh, i believe in Christmas day.
(bless you all on Christmas day)

Christmas day, Christmas day,

(J): This year has turned out to be a big year for us.

(P): (Singing) Christmas day

(J): One of our biggest years since we can remember.

(P): (Singing) Christmas day

(J): And we can remember a lot of big years. Take...take bugs.

(P): (Singing) Christmas day, Christmas day

(J): And especially those abroad and those of you in B.O.R. 2459783 (*245 BIG TIME 783?).

(P): (Singing) Christmas day

(J): 'Cause (*There's?) a lot of us here wanna wish a lot of you there - and the weather's perfectly alright, thank you. And, don't forget, the old, the new, some folks blue, some folks green. You take no notice of 'em. It's an all- white policy in the group.

(All): (Singing)
All my troubles seemed so far away, yeah, yeah,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
(Now it looks as though)
Oh, bless you all on Christmas day.

(J): But once a year.

(P): Aye, and when it comes, it brings good cheer. So don't...

(All): (Singing)
Christmas day,
All my troubles seemed so far away.

(P): All right. Fade it there Charley! Take seven!

(G): Okay, put the red lights off!

(J): And this is Johnny Leyton just saying. "Good night to yous all and God bless yous."

(P): Alright, well, there, that's got it done, then, eh? ...What are we gonna do now?

(G): Has he turned it off?

(P): I think he has.

(G): Have you turned it off, lad?

(P): Hey, basher!

(J): It's still the same.

(P): Turned it off, basher?

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The Beatles' Fourth Christmas Record – Pantomime: Everywhere It's Christmas (1966)

Recorded: 25 November 1966
Location: Dick James Music
Writer: The Beatles
Producer: George Martin
Issued: 16 December 1966
Label: Lyntone, LYN 1145
Flexi disc: 7", 1 side, 33? RPM
Total time: 6:36

Recorded between sessions for "Strawberry Fields Forever", for the 1966 offering, the usual greetings and thanks gave way to a 'Pantomime'-themed collection of original songs and dramatic skits. The songs include "Everywhere It's Christmas", "Orowainya", and "Please Don't Bring Your Banjo Back". Paul McCartney plays the piano. The sketches performed include "Podgy the Bear and Jasper" and "Felpin Mansions."
Once again, the US fan-club members did not get a flexi-disc. Instead, they received a postcard with the message on one side and a short version of The Beatle Bulletin on the other, with enough room for a mailing label and postage.


(All): (Singing)
Ev'rywhere it's Christmas,
Ev'rywhere it's song.
London, Paris, Rome and New York,
Tokyo, Hong Kong.
Oh, ev'rywhere it's Christmas,
And I'm off to join the cheer!
Ev'rywhere it's Christmas,
At the end of ev'ry year!
Oh, ev'rywhere it's Christmas,
At the end of ev'ry year!
I said that ev'rywhere it's Christmas,
At the end of ev'ry year!
One more time now!
Ev'rywhere it's Christmas....

Orowainya, orowainya, orowainya, ooh,
Endomainya, endomainya, endomainya, ooh.

(G): Our story opens in Corsica. On the veranda is a bearded man in glasses conducting a small choir.

(All): (Singing)
Orowainya, orowainya, orowainya....

Yohoo! Yodellaihetee! Yohoo!

(R): Meanwhile, high in the Swiss Alps, two elderly Scotchmen munch on a rare cheese.

(G): Wonderful stuff this, Agnes.

(J): Aye, it's wonderful stuff.

(All): (Singing)
Hodellaihetee! Yodellaihetee!

(R): I'm standing in the entrance to the main tent. Immediately behind me, the festivities have already begun.

(J): Tell me, are you enjoying the wine?

(P): I am indeed, your Highness. It goes well with me. (*Yeh, very good very good, ha ha ha!?)

(P): The King seems to be enjoying himself tonight! (*You might not have seen him in such good focus since the October festival.?)

(J): (*Alright!?) Is there a doctor here? Is there a doctor around here? Did anybody see one?

(G): At the same time as this, in the captain's mess on board the H.M.S. Tremendous, a toast is being proposed.

(P): To her majesty!

(All): To her majesty!


(P): Podgy the bear and Jasper were huddled around the unlit fire in the centre of the room. "There are no more matches left, Podgy," said Jasper. "Then buy some, Jasper, old friend," said Podgy. "Make a list and afterwards we'll go to the shop and buy matches and (*buy?) candles and buns." "There's no more paper to write on, Podgy" "No need to worry, Jasper. You keep saying to yourself 'matches' and I'll keep saying 'candles' until we reach the shop. Then we won't need to write it down. We'll remember." "Who'll remember the buns, Podgy?" "We both will, Jasper ....... Matches," "Candles." "Matches." "Candles." "Matches." "Candles." "Matches." "Candles." "Matches." "Candles."

(J): In the long dark corridors of Felpin Mansions, a door slams and the shadowy figure of Count Balder appears. The Count is the eccentric son of Baron Lndsberg, the inventor of the rack. He speaks "Guten Tagen, meinen damen and herren. Welcome to Felpin Mansions. The butler will show you to your rooms. Butler!" "Yes, sir!" "Show the ladies and gentlemen to their rooms."

(P): Come in.

(J): May I come in?

(P): Come, come in, Count!

(J): May I?

(P): Oh, yes, come in.

(J): Ah, thank you. I was wondering if you knew any of the songs from the good 'ol days.

(P): Oh, my goodness, yes. Don't you worry on that score. I hear the Baron likes, uh, I hear the Baron likes the good old tunes.

(J): Yes, I do.

(P): So do I, Count, so do I. But they're all melodies, aren't they?

(P): No, don't worry. I'll play this one. Do you like this one? Listen to this one.

(P): (Singing)
Please don't bring your banjo bag,
I know where it's been.
I wasn't hardly gone a day
When it became the scene.
Banjos, banjos all the time,
I can't forget that tune.

(All): (Singing)
And if I ever see another banjo,
I'm going out to buy a big balloon,
And if I ever see another banjo,
I'm going out to buy a big balloon,
And if I ever see another banjo,
I'm going out to buy a toy balloon,
And if I ever see another banjo,
I'm going out to buy a toy balloon,> And if I ever see another bloom,
I'm going out to buy a toy balloon,

(P): Yes, everywhere it's Christmas.

(P): (Singing)
Ev'rywhere it's Christmas,
Ev'rywhere it's song.
London, Paris, Rome and New York,
Tokyo, Hong Kong.
Oh, ev'rywhere it's Christmas,
And I'm off to join the cheer!
Ev'rywhere it's Christmas,
At the end of ev'ry year!
Oh, ev'rywhere it's Christmas,
At the end of ev'ry year!
I said that ev'rywhere it's Christmas,
At the end of ev'ry year!
One more time now!
Ev'rywhere it's Christmas,
At the end of ev'ry year,

(P): (*Ha-ha-ha?) Jolly good, (*ho-ho?) jolly good.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Christmas Time (Is Here Again!) (1967)

Recorded: 28 November 1967
Location: Studio Three EMI Studios, London
Writer: The Beatles
Producer: George Martin
Issued: 15 December 1967
Label: Lyntone, LYN 1360
Flexi disc: 7", 1 side, 33? RPM
Total time: 6:06

An elaborate production, Christmas Time Is Here Again! was developed around the concept of several groups auditioning for a BBC radio show. The title song serves as a refrain throughout the record.[8] The Beatles portray a multitude of characters, including game show contestants, aspiring musicians ("Plenty of Jam Jars", by the Ravellers), and actors in a radio drama ("Theatre Hour"). At the end John reads a poem, "When Christmas Time Is Over." This offering was likely a deliberate homage to/continuation of the broadly similar "Craig Torso" specials produced for BBC Radio 1 that same year by the Beatles' friends and collaborators the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band, and also shares much in common with their then-unreleased track "You Know My Name (Look Up the Number)", recorded six months previously.
While British fans received a flexi-disc in an elaborate sleeve, American fans received a postcard similar to that of 1966.


(J): It's a clumsy remix, take 444!

(All): (Singing)
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again
Ain't been round since you know when
Christmas time is here again
O-U-T spells out!

(P): The boys arrive at BBC House.

(J): What do you want?

(All): We have been granted permission, oh, wise one.

(J): Ah, pass in peace.

(All): (Singing)
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is

(J): An audition will be held at ten am, Wednesday the first, in the fluffy rehearsal rooms. Bring your own.

(J): Thank you. Next please!

(P): Would over here be convenient for you?

(J): Carry on!

(P): Over here. Are you thirteen, eh??

(J): Next please!

(All): (Singing)
Get wonderlust for your trousers
Get wonderlust for your hair.

(P): Sitting with me in the studio tonight is a cross section of British youth. I'd like first of all to speak to you. Sir Gerald.

(J): Oh, not a bit of it. We had a job to do, Nigel (*Michael?).

(P): Ah, yes, yes quite. I don't think you're answering my question.

(J): Ohh, let me put it this way. There was a job to be done.

(All): (Singing)
Christmas time is here again
Christmas time is here again

(G): On to the next round!
(*Bingo! Bingo! Ha! Ha!?)

(G): In the recent heavy fighting near Blackpool, Mrs. G. Evans, of Solihull was gradually injured. She wants for all the people in hospital "Plenty of Jam Jars" by the Revellers.

(J): And here it is.

(All): (Singing)
Plenty of jam jars, baby,
Plenty of jam jars for you, (for you, baby)
Plenty of jam jars, baby,
Plenty of jam jars for you.
Plenty of jam jars, baby, (baby, baby)
Plenty of jam jars for you.

(J): And how old are you?

(G): Thirty-two.

(J): Ooooh! Never!

(G): I am.

(J): Get away!

(G): I am!

(J): Well, what prize have you got your eyes on?

(G): I have??

(J): Well, you've just won a trip to Denver and five others!

(G): Ooooh, thank you.

(J): And also, wait for it, you have been elected as independent candidate for Paddington ...

(G): Ooooh

(J): So look after yourself. (*Ha! Ha!?)

(All): (Singing)
Get wonderlust for your trousers,
Get wonderlust for your hair.

(R): "Theatre Hour" is brought to you tonight from the arms of someone new.

(R): Hello, I'm speaking from a call box. Hello? Hello? Operator? Hello, operator, I've been cut off. (*I-I've been cut off!?) It's an emergency!

(All): (Singing)
O-U-T spells OUT! (da-da-da-da-da)
Christmas time is here again,
Ain't been 'round since you know when (ee-hoo!)
Christmas time is here again, (that's right!)
O-U-T spells OUT!

(G): And how old are you? (*Christmas time is here again!?)

(J): Thirty-two. (*Ha! Ha! Ha!?)

(G): Never. (*Ha! Ha! Ha!?)

(J): Well, you've won a prize. (*Ha! Ha! Ha!?)

(P): Get off the show! (*Ha! Ha! Ha!?)

(George Martin): They'd like to thank you for a wonderful year.

(G): We'd like to thank you for a wonderful year.

(All): Thank you for a wonderful year.

(G): Carry on.

(J): Look out yourself! (*Ha! Ha! Ha!?)

(J): Come in!

(J): And Christmas tames all,
And your bonnie clay as through,
Happy breastling to you, people.
All our (*the?) best from me to you.
And the beasty dragon mutton (*brangom button?),
To the heather and little inn,
I'll be struttin' oot in ma tether.
To yer arms once back again,
Och away, ye Bonnie.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Beatles' 1968 Christmas Record

Recorded: November–December 1968
Location: various
Writer: The Beatles
Producer: Kenny Everett
Issued: 20 December 1968
Label: Lyntone, LYN 1743/4
Flexi disc: 7", 2 sides, 33? RPM
Total time: 7:48

The first Beatles Christmas fan-club disc to be recorded separately, the 1968 offering is a collage of odd noises, musical snippets, and individual messages. McCartney's song "Happy Christmas, Happy New Year" is featured, along with John's poems "Jock and Yono" and "Once Upon a Pool Table." Also notable is a rendition of "Nowhere Man" by the ukulele-playing Tiny Tim. Also included is a sped-up snippet of the Beatles' own "Helter Skelter" and a brief snippet of Perrey & Kingsley's "Baroque Hoedown" which was used three years later in Disneyland's Main Street Electrical Parade. "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da," "Yer Blues," and "Birthday" are also heard in the background for part of the message.The dialogue and songs for the flexi-disc were organised and edited together by DJ and friend of the Beatles, Kenny Everett.
Finally, the US fans got a flexi-disc for Christmas in 1968, but it came in a modified version of the 1967 UK sleeve.


R): Hello, this is a big "Hi" and a sincere Merry Christmas from yours truly, Ringo Starr.

(P): (Singing)
Happy New Year, happy Christmas,
Happy Easter, happy autumn.
Happy Michelmas, ev'rybody,
Happy Christmas, ev'rybody to you.

I'd like to wish ev'rybody happy Christmas
This year of 1968 going on 69.
Happy Christmas, happy New Year,
All the best to you from here.

Ah - haaa!

I'd like to wish ev'rybody
Happy Christmas, happy New Year.
From there to here,
Happy New Year, happy New Year,
Happy New Year, happy New Year.

When I get to the bottom
I go back to the top of the slide,
Where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride
Till I get to the bottom and I see you again.

(J): Once upon a time, there were two balloons called
Jock and Yono. They were strictly in love, bound to happen
in a million years. They were together, man. Unfortunate
timetable, they seemed to have previous experience which
kept calling them one way or another. You know how it is.
But they battled on against overwhelming oddities,
including some of their beast friends. Being in love,
they clung together even more, man. But some of the
poisonous monsters' outdated boss - lordy ape claws did
stick slightly, and they occasionally had to resort to
the dry cleaners. Luckily, this did not kill them and
they weren't banned from the Olympic Games. They lived
hopefully ever after and who could blame them?

(G): Well, here we are again, another fab Christmas. Christmas time is here again. Ain't been around since last year. And we'd like to take this opportunity, all the way from America, to say happy Christmas to you our faithful, beloved fans all over the world who have made our life worth living. And over here I have Mr. Malcolm Evans who through thick and thin would surely like to say a word of greeting at this festive occasion.

(M): Merry Christmas children everywhere!

(?): At the first stroke, it will be ...

(R): ... Ringo Starr. Thank you!
"Good evening."
"Hello me dear. I didn't know you were coming."
"I'm not surprised."
"Well, I am! Certainly am!"
"I would have thought so myself."
"Well, if you ask me, I think it's insane."
"Yes, me, too. Twice a week sometimes."
"Fourteen and six."
"Nineteen and five to save me if you don't mind."
"Yes, I know."
"Don't you say yes to me! I'm telling you!"
"This is a private line, you know."
"Private line? I've been on this line for two years."

(R): Well, it's my proud pleasure tonight to introduce one of the most versatile performers in our career. And he's come all the way from Stokely Carmichel's-on-Sea. And I hope you're going to like him. Let's give him a big hand ...

(P): (Singing)
Happy New Year, happy Christmas,
Happy Easter, happy autumn,
Happy Michelmas, ev'rybody,
Happy Christmas, ev'rybody to you.

(J): Once upon a pool table there lived a short-haired
butcher's boy by the way of Ostergrad. It comes in
scented cesspool or be careful. Her father was in a
long story cut short in the middle of his life sentence.
We're indebted to the colloquial office for its immediate
disposal aronowitz, including, I might add, half a
fell of her twotem (*hoc virtallo a totem?). On the other handbag,
I mean to say l'amoure ne soome tu joure realistic, strictly speaking.
For this film is about an hourglass houseboat. The full
meaning of Winchester Cathedral defies description. Their
loss was our Gainsborough nil.

(J (Double Tracked)): The sound of a manservantile defectively lasting barred up in a love-dizzy gar-di-dell time. How close can you Gettysburg and ever underly council ya originally a birdbath feeling?

(G): Cut!
We have a special guest here this evening, Mr. Tiny Tim. I'd like to ask him to say a few words.

(T): Oh, hello to you nice Beatles. Ah, it's so wonderful, what a thrill it is talking here. Ah, in Mr. Harrison's presence, Mr. Weiss' presence, and all his nice wonderful friends. And the thing is, I just wanna say Merry Christmas to you all. And, ah, a Happy New Year.

(G): Thank you, Tiny. Would you like to sing us a little song?

(T): Ah, I'd love to. Here's a song I did in 1966 in front of Miss Jill for the first time. And I did this in Albert Hall, and what a thrill it was, ah, to do this then, and now ... exactly the way I did it then.

He's a, ooh, real nowhere man,
Living in his nowhere land,
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody.

Hasn't got a point of view,
Knows not where he's going to,
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Nowhere man, (yes?) Don't worry,
Take your time, don't hurry,
Nowhere man, the world's at your command, ooh.

He's a, huh huh, real nowhere man,
Living in his nowhere land,
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody, ooh, ooh.

(G): Thank you, Tiny. Thank you and God bless you, Tiny.

(T): God bless you all. Oh, God bless you all.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Beatles' Seventh Christmas Record (1969)

Recorded: November–December 1969
Location: various
Writer: The Beatles
Producer: Kenny Everett
Issued: 19 December 1969
Label: Lyntone, LYN 1970/1971
Flexi disc: 7", 2 sides, 33? RPM
Total time: 7:39

The final Beatles Christmas offering was also recorded separately, as the band had effectively split by this point. It features an extensive visit with John and Yoko at their Tittenhurst Park estate, where they play "what will Santa bring me?" games. Harrison appears only briefly, and Starr only shows up to plug his recent film, The Magic Christian. Paul sings his original ad-lib, "This is to Wish You a Merry, Merry Christmas." Starting at 1:30, at the tail-end of Ringo's song, the guitar solos from "The End" are heard, followed by Yoko interviewing John.
For the only time, the American and British jackets were identical. The US version of the flexi-disc had an elaborate drawing of the Beatles' faces on it. Drawings were credited to Richard Starkey & Zak Starkey.



(J): Now you lads, will you just shout Happy Christmas for us
For this tape, eh?

(?): Happy Christmas?

(J): Yeah. Go on. One, two, three.

(All): Happy Christmas!

(J): Thank you. Same to you. Ha, ha. Happy Christmas.

(Yoko): ... Christmas, John, and I see you strolling in Ascot Garden with your wife, Yoko, but well, do you have any special thoughts at, for Christmas?

(J): Well, Yoko, it is Christmas and my special thoughts, of course, turn towards eating.

(Y): Ha! Ha! Ha! All right. So, eating. Well, what do you like to eat?

(J): Well, I'd like some cornflakes prepared by Parisian hands. And I'd like it blessed by Hari Krishna Mantra.

(G): "Yes, have a wonderful Christmas.
Have a jolly new year.
Make sure that Christmas...
... comes once a year."
Yes, Happy New Year. All the best.
This is George Harrison saying Happy Christmas. Happy
Christmas. Christmas. Christmas. Happy. Happy...

(R): (Singing)
Ooh, good evening to you ladies,
Good evening to you gentlemen,
Happy to be here,
Good evening to you gentlemen,
I fear, I fear, I fear.
Good evening to you one and all
I hope you will enjoy
The coming sports day of your life
Is mama's little boy.

(Y): So, how do you like the garden here?

(J): I think it's simply splendid. I'm overwhelmed by its sanctuary.

(Y): So, you don't mind these high gates and things and the walls?

(J): Oh, I've always loved the high walls. The Elizabethan high
wall is something I've always loved. You see.

(Y): Yes

(J): Lady

(P): (Singing)
This is to wish you, a merry, merry Christmas
This is to wish you just a merry, merry year
This say to wish you just a happy, happy new year
This is to wish you a merry, merry, merry new year

(P): I'd like to say that I hope everybody listening to this has a very happy time at Christmas and has a good, fortunate, lucky New Year. And a good time to be had by all.

(P): (Singing)
"Merry Christmas!
Mm, this is to wish you a me-merry, merry Christmas,
This is to wish you a ha-ha-happy new year."

(J): How do you see your place in the ...eh...the seventies to come? We've had the swinging sixties, and I was wondering, Mrs. Lennon, how you saw your place in the seventies?

(Y): I think it'll be a quiet, peaceful seventies, hopefully, you know.

(J): So you think there's gonna be peace, do you?

(Y): Yes, and freedom.

(J): I see.

(Y): Freedom of mind. And everything.

(J): I see. Really nice.

(Y): Everybody will just be flying around, you know.

(J): Ah, everybody will just be flying around, you see. D'you understand that?

(Y): The air's so crisp and all that. And just, there's something about it, very delicate...

(J): (Singing)
Deep and crisp and even,
Brightly shone the moon that night
On the misty cruel.
Good King Wenceslas last look out
On the feast of....

(Y): ... and it's sort of, ah, like a strange magic, you know, just slowing down the process of our thinking. Anyway, it's just really beautiful.

(J), (Y): (Singing)
Happy Christmas - (Happy Christmas)
Happy Christmas - (Happy Christmas)
Happy Christmas - (Happy Christmas)
Happy New Year.

(J): Take two.

(J), (Y): (Singing)
Happy Christmas,
Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy Christmas - (Happy Christmas)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, happy Christmas - (hah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Oh-oh-oh-oh, happy Christmas.

John, Yoko, John, happy Christmas
It's warm and nice and comfy in Ascot.
Ac-dc lights.

(Y): Let's put the lights on the trees.

(J): Alright, dear. You pass me the light (*lights?) and I'll string it on (*stick it to?) the tree. (*ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....?)

(R): Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas..... Magic Christian, Magic Christian, Magic Christian, Magic Christian... (*Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas - magic Christian - magic Christian - Magic Christian - magic Christian - magic Christian - Magic Christian

It's just a plug for the film, Ken. Try and keep it on.
This is Ringo Starr saying Merry Christmas to ev'rybody and a (*very?) happy new year.

(*"ha ha ha ha ha...."?)

(J): I'd like a big teddy!
(Y): I'll get you a big, pink teddy bear.
(J): Oh, thank you, mummy.
(Y): And be a good boy, John.
(J): Oh, yes, mummy, I will. As long as you get me a teddy bear.
(Y): A big, pink teddy bear.
(J): And a train set.
(Y): American train set then?
(J): And a man on the moon that goes on the moon and down to (*dance on?) the moon.
(Y): An ice cream moon then?
(J): That's right. And lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots...
(*(Y): Ha ha ha ha ha....?)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~

Aftermath :

From Then to You (UK) 12" LP
The Beatles' Christmas Album (US)
Compilation album by The Beatles
Released 18 December 1970 (Fan-Clubs only)
Recorded 1963–1969
Studio Various
Spoken word surreal humour rock Christmas music
Length 43:58
Label Apple/Lyntone LYN 2153/4 (UK), SBC-100 (US)
Producer Tony Barrow, George Martin, Kenny Everett

Compilation LP :
In December 1970, in the wake of the band's break-up, the UK fan-club sent out a
compilation LP of all seven recordings, entitled From Then to You. The master tapes
having been mislaid, the LP was mastered from copies of the original flexi discs.
In the US, the seven messages were issued as The Beatles' Christmas Album sent out by the
fan-club around springtime 1971. It was the first time the 1964 and 1965 messages had
been made available in the US. With no new recording, the LP served to remind that
the Beatles were no more, but had the advantage of durability over the original flexi discs.

Bootlegs :
With no general release of the recordings having been made, numerous bootlegs of the
recordings have since appeared.
In December 1982, two albums claiming to comprise a legitimate release of the Beatles'
Christmas messages appeared on the US market. One of them, which contained the 1963–1966
recordings, was called Christmas Reflections, on a label called Desert
Vibrations Heritage Series (HSRD-SP1). The other, with the recordings from 1967 to
1969, was called Happy Michaelmas and was on a label called The Adirondack Group (AG-8146).

Less than a year later, on 29 September 1983, an entrepreneur announced that he was going
to issue all seven messages on one record, which he planned to call John, Paul, George and Ringo.
The Beatles' representatives quickly sued, claiming copyright and trademark
violations, and won in court. As a result, the 1983 album was never released,
and the two 1982 LPs were withdrawn.

Released extracts :
The first three minutes of the music bed of the 1967 single, with greetings recorded for
the 1966 single superimposed during the final minute, was released under the name
"Christmas Time (Is Here Again)" as one of the B-sides of the "Free as a Bird" single
in December 1995. (Ringo Starr recorded his own cover of "Christmas Time Is Here Again"
on his 1999 Christmas album, I Wanna Be Santa Claus.)
Dialogue from the 1965 and 1966 recordings were featured as the tail-end of the
2006 compilation, Love. After the final number, "All You Need Is Love", has ended,
the listener is then treated to the non-sensical ad-libs from the group that appeared
at the end of the 1965 flexi-disc. Mere seconds later, this is merged into the final
moments from the 1966 flexi-disc, complete with Paul's ad-lib line, "Jolly Good".
An edited and abridged version of the 1963 single appeared as unlockable bonus content
in 2009 The Beatles: Rock Band video game and was made available as a free download
from the iTunes Store between 23 December 2010, and 9 January 2011.