"the embodiment of progressive ideals"
R. Stevie Moore
Alan Jenkins
and The Kettering Vampires
Cordelia Records 080 - Digipak CD, out 14 February 2018 (51:43)


01. 19 sweet tea (0:59
02. 10 the house is not in order (2:20
03. 11 cauliflower ear (1:57
04. 02 411 (1:23
05. -- squairs in pairs #1 (
06. 05 hardly anyone (1:14
07. 03 bonine (1:32
08. 08 taking it down a notch (0:42
09. 20 no.1 vs. no1 (2:41
10. -- squairs in pairs #2 (
11. 18 burst upon the scene (1:27
12. 16 go slow (2:33
13. 13 compostable bag (1:54
14. 14 my family (5:45
15. 17 hamburgers and hot dogs (1:21
16. 07 census 2010 (1:24
17. 12 electric my acoustic (3:08
18. 15 NSAID (1:31
19. -- strategiconfidence (2:03
20. 04 filthy selfies (1:58
21. 09 the glimpse (1:13
22. 22 bnaeta (1:34
23. 24 vanquished (0:36
24. -- squairs in pairs #3 (
25. 06 ever do (1:43
26. 21 dogtail wag (1:09
27. 23 only love (1:31
28. 25 the gymn (2:14
29. 01 tea (7:08


01. "Sweet Tea" (0:59) origin: advanst

Honey? Honey? Honey come here
Drink my sweet tea
Come here pour me another glass of that
Sweet tea
You want it unsweetend? and sour?
Tea party hats

02. "The House Is Not In Order" (2:20) text rage

The house is not in order
Secure horizons
Closet cosmosis
The house is not in order
Transition device
Assumes good faith
Outmoded sensibilities
Courtroom bathroom leak
The house is not in order
Due process, we digress
Hurry, see if you qualify
Posthumorous comptroller
Acidic ridicule
The house is not in order
Itís pretty clear that you have no idea
What you are talking about
I couldnít write a plain song if I tried
When I have tried, it comes out as satire or parody or satire
The house is not in order
Dictatorial memorial
But bet I didnít, but bet, but bet
Bet your life, Bett
My father used to call my mother Bett
I feel a cerebral hemorrhage coming on fast
With fries
Ya jealous, zealous, tell us, fellas
Yella submarine sandwich from Subway
The house is not in order
The embodiment of progressive ideals
This is the greatest day of my life
So far
Blimpie base
Donít come back now, yíhear?

03. "Cauliflower Ear" (1:57) oral roberts

Can you help me with this?
Can you help me with this?
Can you help me with this?
Can you help me with this?
That's what they all say
Cauliflower ear
That's what they all say
Local papers, please copy
Indie endy
Can you help me with this?
Your mother sucks c*cks in h*ll
Now you has jazz
Real feel, indy endie
That's what they all say
Real feel
The Robinson Cano Show
A minor skirmish
Common sense is not on the guest list
Can you help me with this?
The horny comedians
Cautionary tale
Suffering sciatica
Draggin' our feet
That's what they all say
Can you help me with this?
There's one thing I've always wanted to do
Before I quit:
I scrambled to appear responsive
End of story.

04. "411" (1:23) text rage

Directory assistance, may I help you?
Whatís the name?
Whatís that last name again?
Balesteri, Frank Balesteri?
Do you have an address?
No address
Many addresses
I donít have time, sir!
I will luck him up
With an i?
Frank Bales- oh!
Sir, Frank Balesteriís dead.

05. "Squairs In Pairs #1" (0:00) text rage 

650 WSM,  R. Stevie Moore
And we just heard the new remaster
From the original Breetles album called
ďSquares in PairsĒ
I think that came from 2000 1000 9
And going backwards we heard
Lysie Pay for the Check
Sheís Buying
Not the Only Girl
Revenge part 2 (I like that one)
And Hang On To Everything
Weíll be right back /

06. "Hardly Anyone" [Lovera] (1:14) oral roberts

Hardly one, hardly two
I can't wait here for you
Open up m-messenger
You are the harbinger
Hardly anyone can say it's me
Hardly anyone
knows my name, says the word
I'm to blame, have you heard?
Hardly anyone can hear the sound
Hardly you or I
Hardly anyone can hear the sound
Hardly you or I

07. "Bonine" (1:32) text rage 

Next up for auction:
A box of Bonine
Meclasine hydrochloride
Itís an anti-emetic
8 tablets, itís chewable once-a-day protection
It prevents motion sickness
It works 4 times longer
Causes less drowsiness
Bonine, people
Works up to 4 times longer and
Causes less drowsiness
Than original Dramamine
And this package is raspberry flavored
Do I have a first bid?

08. "Taking It Down A Notch" (0:42) text rage

Oh, I donít know, I donít know
Itís about taking it down a notch
  Naw, that ainít right at all
  Itís about taking it down a notch
Nawp, wrong again
Itís about taking it down a notch
  How could you even know?
  Itís about taking it down a notch
Thatís what I just said
  Well, take it down a notch
Iíll take it down a notch.

09. "No. 1 vs. No. 1" (2:41) spoiler alert

R Macklemore pedobear
For so many reasons on so many levels
Do not block intersection
Eliminate waste matter
Defecate deficit
Defecate deficit
Electric fireplace
Feels like, sonic footprint
Ironic fingerprint
sonic footprint
Ironic fingerprint
Wipe the windows, check the oil, dollar gas
Puget Sound
All caught up
T. H. Seahawks
Difficult to ascertain
Number 1 vs. number 1
With love and kisses and bong hits
Slash question mark equals
How'd you get here equals
A good reason
With all due respect
Slowdive shoegaze, gays
Escalator going up
You can sip from a straw in a glass of my pus
You suck
Spy dances
Song Hits Magazine
USC Trojans
Pussy, weed, beer
A blast of aspirin
Arizona iced tea
Let's have a day
Climbing Mount Foreverest
I gotta go to class
Sugar toast, egg toast
I wouldn't want anybody to see me like this
Expert testimony mony
Don't let me get up
Finish eatin' first
Sittin' starin' out the window
For the rest of my life
Temperamental Neil Young
Banana John Peel slowly and see
Such drama
You have to accept me as I am
Well, you have to accept me as I am, too
No I don't!

10. "Squairs In Pairs #2" (0:00) text rage

And weíre back now
Celebrating the new remaster of
ďSquares in PairsĒ
Sort of an unknown classic by
The Breetles
From the year 1006
And here comes Side 2
Tracks are called:
Their Day
Now, thatís t-h-e-i-r day
Possessive Ďtheirí?
Their day, they owned that day
And, sorry to get distracted
Have you noticed with people having problems online
With the 3 theres!
T-H-E-I-R possessive
And even worse is the contractual
T-H-E-Y-apostrophe-R E
Which is They Are, R
Then came:
Iím Not Crazy
Squares and Pairs Theme
TV Station
Why Canít I Feel What I Say?
Supervisor Blues
Belgian Holiday
And we ended the set,
Wait, we havenít started!
This is the upcoming set, coming up soon
Weíll be right back. /

11. "Burst Upon The Scene" (1:27) spoiler

Burst upon the scene
Bursting at the seams
The following pages have become unresponsive
You can wait for them to become responsive or kill them
I say, kill them
The plot thickens
Make it Be
I'll come back with you
Man of the world
Tie me up
Finesse to fool
Math murderer
Let mama feed you
Careful, it's hot
I have no idea what I'm doing except
Feeling good
Must you teach?
Can't you learn?
See a specialist
Hit me with your algorithm stick
Ignorance of ignorance is bliss.

12. "Go Slow" (2:33) spoiler

Go slow
Go slow plate
Lapse of judgement
Dibble dabble drips 'n dribbles
You're a urinal
Triple travel, count me out
Go slow
Mother of Jehovah Yeezus
Jobriath defiance
Catch your breath
You know you're out of sight, out of mind
Lime red tint forfeit default
Go slow
You can take a slow hike down the pike
I run every red light on Memory Lane
Sticky sweet, slightly salty
Bogart and Hansen
Sidepocket rocket science
Go slow
As authorized by the Federal Communication Commission
Persistent frequency
Don't fix what ain't broken
Play back upon awakening
Go slow
Go on now

13. "Compostable Bag" (1:54) mind crack

World's first 100% compostable chip package
These are Sun Chips
This bag is louder because it is compostable
You're holding the world's first 100%
compostable chip bag of its kind
It's made from more than 90%
renewable plant based materials
And it breaks down completely in compost
In a hot active home or industrial compost pile
Don't compost yet?
Learn more about our bag
And what it's made of
And how to compost effectively at sunchips.com
It dissolves.

14. "My Family" (5:45) spoiler

My family is distorted, phasered, flanged and compressed
Repeat after me.

15. "Hamburgers and Hot dogs" (1:21) spoiler

Hamburgers and hot dogs
Here, have a hamburger and a hot dog
With horseradish
Who knew!
Henry wants a hamburger
With havardi cheese
Homer wants a hot dog
With hummus
Who knew!
Have another hamburger and hot dog
Just half a hot dog?
Nobody can eat just half a hot dog
Have to have a whole one
With horseradish
Who knew!
Who wants a hot hamburger
And a horse radish?
Who knew!
Hand me a plate, one of each
Hate heavy metal
On a Hagstrom
Hag strum
Holy shit
That's a hot hamburger.

16. "Census 2010" (1:24) text rage

Census 2010
Wait a minute, U ainít heard nothing yet
Come full of pep!
No admittance here [sic]
Extend thy grasp
A little travelling music
Census 2010
Seeking solutions with Suzanne, oh
Iíve heard that tearstained monologue you do there
By the door before you go
Packs a considerable wallop
How did I not know that?
Wait a minute, you still ainít heard nothing yet
Progress, extend thy grasp
Census 2010.

17. "Electric My Acoustic" (3:08) text rage

I am looking for a guy or a girl
To help me fix my acoustic guitar
By putting a jack in the bottom of the strap peg
So I can plug in my jack cord
Directly into the bottom
Anus of my guitar
Canít seem to take care of that
I need a guy or a girl
To get that done
And bring it back
And I can pay them
Five figures in a reward settlement
Yísee, what I been usiní over the years
Old school
One of them acoustic pick-ups
That you hafta insert into the round hole
And thereís this awkward cord that comes out
Not long enough
Gets in the way of the strumming hand
Maybe someday Iíll catch up to the times
Check, please!

18. "NSAID" (1:31) spoiler

Blame it on the Booze Tour 20, 14
Care package!
Foam cervical neck collar
Drag racism
No evidence to support this claim
Fudge packin' crack smokin'
Satan worshipin' motherfucker
Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug
Care package
Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug
Blinding headache
Massive brain attack
Bratmobile chromosomes
Blame it on the Booze Tour 2,014
Thyroid rhoid
I'm not in any pain but I can barely function
Take comfort
Gone missing
Zine queen
Teen zine
If we survive long enough
I see I.C.
Hands down
Worth investigating?
I think not
A slice of bread with headlights
That said.

19. "Strategiconfidence" (2:03) spoiler

West Circle A
Heart cancer
I wasn't tired, I was just drinking
4AM emails and texts
Connecting with the big disconnect
Can't sleep, can only weep
Wifi crying
About how dark and quiet is is
You dread the sunrise
Connection with the big disconnection
It's gonna be another cold, cloudy day
Grayscale semi-tone
5AM emails and texts
Chatting with the empty void
Is anybody home?
Is anyone there?
Locate a network
Genital juice streaming only
When it rains, it pours
Salt on Stahlman Building
Liver loaf impairment
Hard cock rock
Light metal glam, no disco
Erectile dysfunction Viagra culture
I've got angst in my pants worldwide
I'm older than your parents
Shall we pray?
Hip hop bunny
Bunny hip hop
I see you're close-by
Affluenza undoing
Sunday morning's everyday for all I care
Hip hop bunny
Bunny hip hop
West Circle A
What's my approval rate?
Baby, put it on the desktop
Decide later
Harry Fox Agency
Sports mustard
Having some SM
Dick Biondi
Dick beyond
Mine is beyond
Tampon tea
Establish trust
Winter games
Defy convention
Profound nature
Of this moment
Seizure salad.

20. "Filthy Selfies" (1:58) oral

I need... some LSD
Ashes to be spread
Jon's ice cream truck
Staunch republic
The Shut Up and Shoot Documentary Guide
1 2 7b 5 high5+2&3b (koln airport) 
Koln - minor ninth
I hear it's been reissued on Blu-Ray
Bring the toilet seat down for the Ladies
The Ladies?
I also
Pee sitting down
Pee sitting down
Filthy selfies.

21. "The Glimpse" (1:13) text rage

Lookin for Mr. Goodwrench
Itís the Glimpse!
Mama, mama!
Children, stop your nursing!
Itís the Glimpse!
Lookin for Mr. Goodwrench
Sick of singing about girls
Cause I canít find any
Lookin for Mrs. Goodwrench
Iím sick of singing about trucks
Cause I canít drive any
Iím sick of singing about trucks
Cause I canít fyeng any
Iím sick of singing about me
Cause you wonít find any
That look you gave me
You must be lookin for Mr. Goodwrench.

22. "BNAETA" (1:34) spoiler

My fat fake Facebook friend
Bumped into each other on the street
Now you
You know what I'm sayin'
And I know that you do
My fat fake Facebook friend
Bumped into me on the street
Sidewalk (same thing)
Cousin It
Not a chance
Cousin It
Not a chance
Life Size
That's the stuff!
Yo, dawg
Pit bullshit
Me 3
It will only matter when you're there.

23. "Vanquished" (0:36) spoiler

Cross my fingers, hope to die
What of it?
I'm vanquished
Cross my fingers, hope to die
What of it?
Exact science
Did I say the wrong thing?
Weehawken Stevie
One-hitters have saved my life
Cross my fingers, hope to die
What of it?
Not exact science
I'm vanquished.

24. "Squairs In Pairs #3" (0:00) text rage

And welcome back
This is WABC Good Guys
And we just heard the complete Breetles remaster
For his 2nd album from 1006, called
ďSquares In PairsĒ
Hope you enjoyed it
We got the weather?
Itís been pretty amazing
Hereís the intense weather.

25. "Ever Do" (1:43) oral

When she says she wants a drink,
She really wants A DRINK
Deny us no chemical relief
This night can only end well
Whaddya say to that?
I would hope that there's got to be
At least one among these that will do
Hugging you from behind
I gently slap up from the top of your forehead
You know i'm so fed up
With loving you so hard
Do not disturbulance
MF Doom mouse arrest
Gary Warcrimes
Haters gonna hate
Distract and divert
Jimmy Haystack
Ziggy Sawdust
Not only is it the last show of the tour
But it's the last show we'll ever do
Not only is it the first show of the tour
But it's the first show we'll ever do.

26. "Dogtail Wag" (1:09) spoiler

Dogtail wag
Hush up
You're under arrested development
I am trending
I am doomed
It's a curse
8-Ball scratch
I want you to live with me
But only for one night
Relationships complicate
Enormous imagination of talents
Grasping at straws
Dogtail wag
Impending disaster
Hush up
I want you to live with me
But only for that one night.

27. "Only Love" (1:31) spoiler

Only love
Stretching is uniform
Try using words
Do birds have ears?
Only love
Rye and pump deli swirl
No remarks, wise guy
Brick and mortar
Only love
Courtney Love UK Tour (May)
I'm gonna be in there
Right when she is
We gonna get together
Only love
Abundant redundant
Grip swing gaffer
Town twinning
The album you hold in your hands
Only love
Forever changesh
Put me in your pocket and lock it
Stretching is uniform
Three-way high five
I did nothing of the sort
Three-way high five
I did nothing of the sort
Only love
Conglomerate fearmongering
Anastasia Salinger
Thug merge
BB, are you attached to an email?
BB, are you attached to my email?
Only love.

28. "The Gymn" (2:14) spoiler

Well, how'd that happen?
That never happens
The night sun
Frigidaire stove
Boiling icebox
Ya ever get a hair in your mouth?
Frigidaire stove
Boiling icebox
Into the freezer burn
Hey, why are?
Ayr my nasal gel
High fructose corn syrup
Where seldom is heard a discourging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day
Medicinal marinara
I was throw flowers I the gymn
Cottage industry
Cottage cheese industry
Same here
Peanut brittle and eggs
Yahoo taboo
You can't unsee me
You can't unhear me
Well, how'd that happen?
That never happens.

29. "Tea" (7:08) oral roberts

Good morning from Madison, Tennessee. Sunday, 8:30am.
Would you come over here and help me vacuum my carpet? 
I still ain't done no vacuuming in 2 and a half years. I have a
nice thick soft bunch of carpet rug, rugs, it's not rugs it's carpet.
And it's trapped a whole helluva lot of dirt, & hair, dust bunnies.
I just can't seem to get it together. *I just can't seem to get it together.*
It's not that complicated.

So I'm waiting for my tea to steep. Yecch. When Stevie has his
own special blends (like he used to do with his wine...
his "hobo wine"... a blend of merlot with cheap white chardonay...
chablis, that's what it was. Chablis, to help water it down.
Hamburger Helper). But with my hot tea in the mornings, I quit
drinking coffee, you knew that, I prefer Twinings Classic teabags.
They're a little expensive, but typically I stock up on 'em,
so I never get too low.

But I got a method to my madness: I put a Twinings Classic English
Breakfast teabag, in the dark red package, and additionally I also
include a standard Lipton teabag. I'm lead to believe, I guess, I'm the
one that created this misconception, that having two teabags makes
it stronger and ups the caffeine. Prove me wrong, I don't know.
("send MBV Ringtones to your cell!")

But then when I'm done with that first cup, I come back in and do it again...
but this time I use Twinings Classics Earl Grey tea, in the yellow package.
And I go back and forth between the English Breakfast and the Earl Grey.
But I always add a second bag to the cup... the Lipton. And I use soymilk,
or "Silk"... just a little bit. No sugar, never sugar... I use honey on my cereal...
but I never never use white sugar. Nor do I use salt. I use a thing called
"NoSalt"... it's all the flavor without the sodium. And I stock up on that, too.
Surprised? I stock up on lots of things because I don't drive a car, and am
slowly becoming immobile. Even walking to the store to pick up essentials.
So hey, why not, when I get the chance, buy two instead of one?
It depends.


Words by r. stevie moore (all pre-recorded)
Music by alan jenkins (all post-recorded)

All conception, constructionproduction, final mastering & sleeve design by AJ

The musical background on "Electric my Acoustic"
is partially by Cody Kurth, Macon GA

All words & text rage published by ©Spunky Monkey Music (ASCAP)

Full transcript available at the speaker's
web portal: www.rsteviemoore.com/cd/embodiment.html

Many other fine compact discs by R. Stevie
Moore and/or Alan Jenkins are available
at www.cordeliarecords.co.uk

RSM photo by Donutshop Life
Pylonhydrant photo by Moore Ton
AJ photo possibly by Blodwyn P. Teabag?

Gender wars wreak havoc in chaos run
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